I graduated high school on a hot and humid Virginia evening. There was heat lightening outlining a silhouette of the mountain, and rain drops splattered onto the top of my maroon cap. In order to protect our diplomas from being ruined by rain, the school handed out fake scrolls on stage, and we received our actual diplomas on a table inside the gym. On each scroll was the follow quotation:
Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors where there were only walls. -Joseph Campbell
At the time, this quote meant very little to me. I slid the scroll into the side of my white Pontiac door, and drove off into my unknown future. Over the past year, this quotation has become a light with which I view my life. Maybe it is selfish, but I have come to the conclusion that I don't want to spend anymore time doing what I find unpleasant. I want to do only those things that fill my life with joy and make me content. We only get one go on this ride of life, afterall.
As you know, I started this blog to document my 101 things in 1001 days. Unfortunately, a lot of my 101 things had to do with someone who is no longer in my life, and so I stopped pursuing that list and instead pursued survival of the heart for awhile. Since the beginning of June, I've been considering what things would make my life full, and I started to write down all the things I'd like to experience and accomplish. I'm still working on it, but I have begun to establish a new 101 list. This time, each goal will be something for me because a person cannot base her life on making someone else happy. That's no way to live at all. I've found that making myself happy places people in my life who have the same interests and goals as I do, thus making my relationships with others more meaningful.
and isn't that what life is all about? Genuine connections and love for people on earth: Agape.
(101 List to follow. Stay tuned.)
Showing posts with label happiness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label happiness. Show all posts
Thursday, August 4, 2011
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Twitterpated
(I'm goin to geek out just a little, so please forgive me.)
Do you remember this term from the Disney classic Bambi? If we were to look it up in the Disney Glossary of Made Up Words, we might find this definition:
Twitterpated (adj) totally and completely smitten (as in "I am twitterpated over my new beau.")
and girls and boys, am I ever!
Montana came to Virginia and spent a fantastic five days at my house. We acted like kids and did everything from riding the ferris wheel to zipping down waterslides. I made him dinner, he fixed my dryer, we walked the dog, and in general did life together.
Most everyone in my immediate circle of family and friends knows about Mr. Brawny Man Fantastic Pants, but I was hesitant to post him as my fo' realsies boyfriend on FB because I was nervous people would think it was too soon for me to be in a serious relationship. Then I decided to say the hell with what other people think! I am following my bliss, and this guy adds so much dimension and vibrancy to my life. Sometimes he will say things, and I'll think "my goodness...that's exactly what was going through my head." He always gets my jokes, is a wonderful kisser, and he makes me smile like none other.
In the past, I've dated guys based on physical attraction. I even married the ex with physical attraction being 90% of the deal. With Montana it is different. Don't get me wrong, I think he is ridiculously handsome, and don't even get me started on those shoulders. . . but my attraction to Montana comes from our personalities being 100% compatible. He is active, likes to talk, and loves life. No surprise, but so do I!
I can't wait until he comes to stay again. Call me crazy (and if I'm wrong, oh well), but he might just be it.
Do you remember this term from the Disney classic Bambi? If we were to look it up in the Disney Glossary of Made Up Words, we might find this definition:
Twitterpated (adj) totally and completely smitten (as in "I am twitterpated over my new beau.")
and girls and boys, am I ever!
Montana came to Virginia and spent a fantastic five days at my house. We acted like kids and did everything from riding the ferris wheel to zipping down waterslides. I made him dinner, he fixed my dryer, we walked the dog, and in general did life together.
Most everyone in my immediate circle of family and friends knows about Mr. Brawny Man Fantastic Pants, but I was hesitant to post him as my fo' realsies boyfriend on FB because I was nervous people would think it was too soon for me to be in a serious relationship. Then I decided to say the hell with what other people think! I am following my bliss, and this guy adds so much dimension and vibrancy to my life. Sometimes he will say things, and I'll think "my goodness...that's exactly what was going through my head." He always gets my jokes, is a wonderful kisser, and he makes me smile like none other.
In the past, I've dated guys based on physical attraction. I even married the ex with physical attraction being 90% of the deal. With Montana it is different. Don't get me wrong, I think he is ridiculously handsome, and don't even get me started on those shoulders. . . but my attraction to Montana comes from our personalities being 100% compatible. He is active, likes to talk, and loves life. No surprise, but so do I!
I can't wait until he comes to stay again. Call me crazy (and if I'm wrong, oh well), but he might just be it.
Sunday, July 10, 2011
It Got Better
and by it, I mean life.
Today is the day I will be officially divorced (provided ex does his part and goes to the court house). Even though the physical process of "goin through a Big D" was quite simple (writing up papers, etc), the waiting was awful (six months in my state since we had no kids). For months, I have been nervously anticipating this day. Even though I wasn't to blame, I've gone through the catalogue of emotions, these being the big three:
Embarassment: How could I ever tell this to people I knew? Here I was, not even 25 and already "throwing the towel in." I could hear people's jaws smacking in the back of my head. I grew up Southern Baptist, and I felt shame and guilt for not upholding one of God's Covenants. But when the other person has already "left" the marriage and has no desire to work on it, what was I to do? Sit at home like a 50's housewife, drinking martinis and pretending like I didn't know my husband was screwing around? I don't think so.
Anger: For awhile there, I wanted to bust some windows out of his car, light a match to his mailbox, have my dad rough him up, punch his skank in the face. But somewhere along the way, I realized he didn't deserve so much energy. I figure since he and this woman don't seem to take commitment seriously (and since I do), they deserve each other! Even in the early stages, I knew in my heart that I was loveable, and lo and behold someone has come along who is completely trustworthy and is as crazy about me as I am him.
Peace and Contentment: I have built a life for myself in a new town. I wedged myself into the community, made a group of fantastic friends, and moved into the cutest little rental house. I overcame some fears (living on my own, traveling alone, cooking for one), and feel like this experience has made me more independent.
I used to dread finalization like the plague, terrified that I would have a crippling case of depression and wouldn't be able to get out of bed, but instead I am (dare I say it?) excited. It feels like once I cut this ball and chain officially off, my life will finally spin into a beautiful state of opportunity, adventure, and happiness. I will no longer tiptoe dangerously close to them, pulling toward them as a metal chain yanks me back. No, I will run free into the deep waters and let out a sigh that only my soul can muster.
If you're going through the Big D, rest assured (from someone who has been there) that it does get better. I can't tell you how long it will take for you to find the peace and contentment stage, but I promise you it is there. I am so thankful to be where I am now because my life isn't just better, it's at it's very best.
Today is the day I will be officially divorced (provided ex does his part and goes to the court house). Even though the physical process of "goin through a Big D" was quite simple (writing up papers, etc), the waiting was awful (six months in my state since we had no kids). For months, I have been nervously anticipating this day. Even though I wasn't to blame, I've gone through the catalogue of emotions, these being the big three:
Embarassment: How could I ever tell this to people I knew? Here I was, not even 25 and already "throwing the towel in." I could hear people's jaws smacking in the back of my head. I grew up Southern Baptist, and I felt shame and guilt for not upholding one of God's Covenants. But when the other person has already "left" the marriage and has no desire to work on it, what was I to do? Sit at home like a 50's housewife, drinking martinis and pretending like I didn't know my husband was screwing around? I don't think so.
Anger: For awhile there, I wanted to bust some windows out of his car, light a match to his mailbox, have my dad rough him up, punch his skank in the face. But somewhere along the way, I realized he didn't deserve so much energy. I figure since he and this woman don't seem to take commitment seriously (and since I do), they deserve each other! Even in the early stages, I knew in my heart that I was loveable, and lo and behold someone has come along who is completely trustworthy and is as crazy about me as I am him.
Peace and Contentment: I have built a life for myself in a new town. I wedged myself into the community, made a group of fantastic friends, and moved into the cutest little rental house. I overcame some fears (living on my own, traveling alone, cooking for one), and feel like this experience has made me more independent.
I used to dread finalization like the plague, terrified that I would have a crippling case of depression and wouldn't be able to get out of bed, but instead I am (dare I say it?) excited. It feels like once I cut this ball and chain officially off, my life will finally spin into a beautiful state of opportunity, adventure, and happiness. I will no longer tiptoe dangerously close to them, pulling toward them as a metal chain yanks me back. No, I will run free into the deep waters and let out a sigh that only my soul can muster.
If you're going through the Big D, rest assured (from someone who has been there) that it does get better. I can't tell you how long it will take for you to find the peace and contentment stage, but I promise you it is there. I am so thankful to be where I am now because my life isn't just better, it's at it's very best.
Sunday, March 20, 2011
*Mic Check*
Is this thing on?
First, let me apologize for going on a three month hiatus. I am going through a redirection period in my life. Without going into details (for fear of hurting the guilty), I've moved to a new town on my own. (I do have the love of my life, Margot the wonder dog, with me.) I have a cute little apartment a few minutes from work, and I'm making friends and thriving.
I've been thinking a lot about happiness lately, and I'm realizing that happiness is not an end result but rather the journey. I don't want to focus on reaching the summit and miss the hike. As goal oriented as I've been in life, I'm learning to relax and take each day as it comes. I may wake up alone in my bed, but there's a tub of strawberries sitting on the table callin' my name and mine alone. Abundant rays of sunshine cascade through my windows filling my house and soul with light.
Naturally, my blog needs to change. Many of my goals were founded in someone elses happiness, and that has to change. What I've decided to do is to continue the Gratitude List I wanted to begin at New Year. I feel an overwhelming sense of gratitude to God for His amazing supply of gifts. So stay tuned for my Abundant Life: a 1000+ Gifts.
First, let me apologize for going on a three month hiatus. I am going through a redirection period in my life. Without going into details (for fear of hurting the guilty), I've moved to a new town on my own. (I do have the love of my life, Margot the wonder dog, with me.) I have a cute little apartment a few minutes from work, and I'm making friends and thriving.
I've been thinking a lot about happiness lately, and I'm realizing that happiness is not an end result but rather the journey. I don't want to focus on reaching the summit and miss the hike. As goal oriented as I've been in life, I'm learning to relax and take each day as it comes. I may wake up alone in my bed, but there's a tub of strawberries sitting on the table callin' my name and mine alone. Abundant rays of sunshine cascade through my windows filling my house and soul with light.
Naturally, my blog needs to change. Many of my goals were founded in someone elses happiness, and that has to change. What I've decided to do is to continue the Gratitude List I wanted to begin at New Year. I feel an overwhelming sense of gratitude to God for His amazing supply of gifts. So stay tuned for my Abundant Life: a 1000+ Gifts.
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Top Five Lessons I've Learned While Becoming Debt Free
This month I will complete my journey to being debt free. I cannot believe I'm here. I thought it would take me ten years to pay off Sallie, but the freedom is just around the corner. The reality sunk in last night when I was talking with my husband. In fact, I was almost giddy with excitement. Anyway, as I talked with Mr. J about the end of our journey, I came up with a top five list of lessons I've learned while becoming debt free. Here they are for you to peruse:
1. Contentment is everything. Before we got serious about becoming debt free, I complained about what I didn't have. The third month into the budget, I realized something very important: I have everything I need. What a novel concept! I have a home, I always have food, and I have clean running water. I know it sounds cliche to say that some people don't have these essentials, but the fact of the matter is that it's true. There are people all over the world who struggle to put food into their mouths everyday. The fact that I don't have a flat screen t.v. in my house pales in comparison to their lack of nutrition.
2. Get busy living your life. The summer of 2009 was a big year for me. I graduated college. I moved back home. I got my first "real" job. I married my honey. Unfortunately, amidst all these wonderful things, I was feeling a little blue. I had no friends. All of my friends from college had gone home, and all of my friends from home had moved away. My husband was working night shift, so I was pretty lonely. I spent a lot of time watching movies, t.v., surfing the internet, and shopping for fun. I was replacing relationships with people by filling my time with escapist activities. The cold hard truth was that at the end of a t.v. episode, I was still alone. So I started inviting people from work out to coffee. I found a church and became involved. I started volunteering in the community. Now my life feels so full that I've had to start practicing the art of saying no. I'm living my life as opposed to escaping it.
3. Stuff is just stuff. Simple living seemed like such a weird concept to me. Why would I want to bake my own bread when I can buy fresh loaves at the store? Why would I want to do without when I can have more? Even though advertisements try to convince us otherwise, stuff can't make us happy. I realized this as I cleaned out my closet for a yard sale. I had more clothes than I could wear in a month, yet I always seemed to wear the same six or seven outfits even though I always complained about having nothing to wear! I simplified my life and cleared out the clutter. I've never felt more organized. I feel like I have power over my house now instead of my house always feeling like it is out of control.
4. Giving is receiving. Money is a piece of paper. I do not want a piece of paper to be the main focus of my life. In order to move away from the widely held belief that money is everything, I needed to start giving some away. I've been focusing lately on giving God my first fruits. Before now, I would give Him my leftovers. Think about that: God, who gave me everything, gets what is left over after I fulfill my every desire. How stinkin' selfish! I've also been trying to volunteer at least once a month. Lately I find working with my hands so gratifying. My new favorite place to volunteer is called the Christmas Store. The store provides low income families gifts for Christmas. I only spent an hour there, but I was so moved by the experience that I know I'll go back.
5. Prioritize your wants. I could probably make a list of all the things I'd like to have over the course of my life, but I have to start with one thing at a time. Instead of buying everything we want on credit, we will start saving in January for one purchase at a time. Once we've paid cash for that purchase, we can start in on something else. I have a limited amount of cash flow, and I've learned throughout this process that I have to pay attention to my outflow. After all, delayed gratification is so rewarding in the end.
So there you have it: five lessons I've learned while becoming DEBT FREE. Isn't it funny that only one is truly money related? This experience was so much more than just getting a handle on my finances. I thought I knew these lessons because I certainly heard my lips saying some of them out loud, but I didn't know squat. The path to becoming debt free has changed my whole perspective on life. What effect could becoming debt free have for you?
1. Contentment is everything. Before we got serious about becoming debt free, I complained about what I didn't have. The third month into the budget, I realized something very important: I have everything I need. What a novel concept! I have a home, I always have food, and I have clean running water. I know it sounds cliche to say that some people don't have these essentials, but the fact of the matter is that it's true. There are people all over the world who struggle to put food into their mouths everyday. The fact that I don't have a flat screen t.v. in my house pales in comparison to their lack of nutrition.
2. Get busy living your life. The summer of 2009 was a big year for me. I graduated college. I moved back home. I got my first "real" job. I married my honey. Unfortunately, amidst all these wonderful things, I was feeling a little blue. I had no friends. All of my friends from college had gone home, and all of my friends from home had moved away. My husband was working night shift, so I was pretty lonely. I spent a lot of time watching movies, t.v., surfing the internet, and shopping for fun. I was replacing relationships with people by filling my time with escapist activities. The cold hard truth was that at the end of a t.v. episode, I was still alone. So I started inviting people from work out to coffee. I found a church and became involved. I started volunteering in the community. Now my life feels so full that I've had to start practicing the art of saying no. I'm living my life as opposed to escaping it.
3. Stuff is just stuff. Simple living seemed like such a weird concept to me. Why would I want to bake my own bread when I can buy fresh loaves at the store? Why would I want to do without when I can have more? Even though advertisements try to convince us otherwise, stuff can't make us happy. I realized this as I cleaned out my closet for a yard sale. I had more clothes than I could wear in a month, yet I always seemed to wear the same six or seven outfits even though I always complained about having nothing to wear! I simplified my life and cleared out the clutter. I've never felt more organized. I feel like I have power over my house now instead of my house always feeling like it is out of control.
4. Giving is receiving. Money is a piece of paper. I do not want a piece of paper to be the main focus of my life. In order to move away from the widely held belief that money is everything, I needed to start giving some away. I've been focusing lately on giving God my first fruits. Before now, I would give Him my leftovers. Think about that: God, who gave me everything, gets what is left over after I fulfill my every desire. How stinkin' selfish! I've also been trying to volunteer at least once a month. Lately I find working with my hands so gratifying. My new favorite place to volunteer is called the Christmas Store. The store provides low income families gifts for Christmas. I only spent an hour there, but I was so moved by the experience that I know I'll go back.
5. Prioritize your wants. I could probably make a list of all the things I'd like to have over the course of my life, but I have to start with one thing at a time. Instead of buying everything we want on credit, we will start saving in January for one purchase at a time. Once we've paid cash for that purchase, we can start in on something else. I have a limited amount of cash flow, and I've learned throughout this process that I have to pay attention to my outflow. After all, delayed gratification is so rewarding in the end.
So there you have it: five lessons I've learned while becoming DEBT FREE. Isn't it funny that only one is truly money related? This experience was so much more than just getting a handle on my finances. I thought I knew these lessons because I certainly heard my lips saying some of them out loud, but I didn't know squat. The path to becoming debt free has changed my whole perspective on life. What effect could becoming debt free have for you?
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Everybody, Meet Margot.
Margot, Meet everybody! This is the newest addition to my family. She's the first dog I've had in my adult life, and I loved her instantly. Yes, I realize she will make my monthly costs go up, but she brings me such joy, and life needs to have a lot of joy. Her initial costs "fit in my budget" for this month, and I can easily add her food to my monthly grocery bill. I've wanted a dog for about a year now, but I've been waiting to find the right breed for my lifestyle. I dog sat my brother's Yorkie for awhile last week, and I really enjoyed Gunner. I decided a Yorkie would be best for my lifestyle. She doesn't shed like some animals (I have allergies), and she is a good house dog.
I got her on Friday of last week from an elderly lady who bought her and then decided she couldn't take care of her. I think she was nervous about the dog tripping her. But now she is my furbaby, and I couldn't be happier!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)