The Gift of a Goat

A few years ago, I was introduced to a true children's book about the chicken man. Basically, the man lived in an economically disadvantaged country, and he was having a rough go of it. Fortunately for him, a group came in and gave him some chickens. Those chickens reproduced, and now he is the largest egg and chicken supplier in his area providing a sustainable income to him and his family.

Fast forward to a concert I attended last November. My friend scored free tickets to see Lady A, so of course we went. While we were there, the groups were encouraging fans to donate to the group Heifer International. If you aren't familar with Heifer International, you can check out their website at http://www.heifer.org/. In a nutshell, H.I. takes donations for animals, and the animals are sent to needy families around the world. Not only do the animals provide food, but they provide a steady source of income. I'm all about this program because when you donate you aren't artificially inflating their economy. This is a way to help folks in need and teach them a skill. To me, it seems like a win/win.

After a season of reading a bunch of books on volunteerism, I decided it was time to send the goat. I set aside some money and was able to send a goat AND a flock of chicks. I hope and pray these animals make a noticeable difference in the quality of lives they come in contact with.

I've also been working on my 30 volunteer opportunities. As a teacher, each of us had to create a club this year. Since I have a passion for volunteering, I decided to start a Service Learning Club. So far we have made Christmas cards for soldiers and baked cookies at the soup kitchen. We also plan to send Valentine's day cards to kids with cancer and oragami flowers for seniors in a local nursing home. My hope is to get the kids out into the community as much as possible this spring, but for now we have a limited budget, so we're doing what we can close to home.

Since we're getting close to Christmas and people tend to be more generous, I'm wondering what your favorite charities/organizations are. I'd love to hear about why you are passionate about them!

My Heart has a Rip

I am struggling. This is difficult for me to admit, but I know that if I don't deal with these feelings, I'm going to ruin a relationship that makes me very happy.

My heart has a rip. Each time I think I have sewn the tear up on one side, the seam comes undone on the other end. I am angry at the one who put the rip there to begin with. It's like that T. Swift song "A Perfectly Good Heart. The lyrics go something like this:

"Why would you wanna make the very first scar? Why would you wanna break a perfectly good heart?"

Specifically, I am having issues with trust, and I am feeling insecure. I have been praying about these things, and I'm trying to remember that I am fearfully and wonderfully made. My worth has to come from a higher place and not from any one person here on Earth. This is difficult to do when all around me there are airbrushed and photoshopped images. I can't walk around with a professional hair stylist (it simply doesn't fit into the budget), and I am getting the angry teacher wrinkle at 25 (time is quickly marching down my face).

When it comes down to it though, I've got to give up these feelings. I am living in fear that my current relationship will end the way my last relationship ended, and it's not fair to my beau to put this baggage on his back. He has done nothing to make me suspicious. I'm at the point where I have to ask myself: so what if he cheats? While I would be heartbroken, his actions are out of my hands. I have to take a chance and choose to trust him for what he says, and I have to focus on me. I have to continue to do the things that make me happy and let my worth come from within and from above.

"Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows." Luke 12:7

My Next 25 Years

The other day I was playing a game of (Clean) Dirty Hearts with the gal pals, and I was asked where I saw myself in five years, then I went out on Sunday and was asked where I saw myself in ten years, and my boss wants to know where I see myself in twenty years.

My honest answer? I. Don't. Know. In five years, I'll be the dreaded thirty. Interestingly enough, it doesn't bother me. Won't it be refreshing to stand firm in the comfort of a solid identity? Or will I continue to ask myself where my life is heading? If you'd asked me a year ago (heck six months ago) where I saw myself in five years, I would have seen myself as a married mother of 3.5 children. But now I'm not sure I want that. I want to fall in love again. I know I want that, but who knows if that will be in the next five years or in the next eighty? I want to pulse with anticipation when a certain person pulls into my driveway (who will that person be?). I want to share the morning paper with someone over shitty cereal. I want to make out on a beach, on a ferris wheel, in the back of a truck/car/boat. I want to laugh with someone until my side aches. I want to do all of this and more, but I don't know if I want to marry again until I'm 50 (or ever).

and if I'm confused about where I'll be in five years, I'm even more at a loss with the ten year timeline. I'd like to have a Roth IRA that is performing. I'd like my networth to be over $100,000. I'd like to go to Greece, maybe get a master's degree, finish my poetry project.

I'm turning twenty five in a short 13 days, and I'm faced with this question again: what am I doing with my life? I keep waiting for an answer, for something to hit me in the face and say WHAM! THIS IS WHAT YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE DOING. But all I can focus on is the fact that I'd like to make and eat a chocolate pie. So that's what I'm going to do in my next 25 years. I mean, not make the pie (well I probably will bake), but follow all of my heart's healthy desires.

Jobs in 2010-2011

Let me start by saying I have an amazingly smart group of friends. Pretty much everyone I know shocks me with their intelligence (maybe it's because I'm such an average pants). They're passionate, caring, funny, but I've been watching the FB job related posts, and I can't help but wonder why these people don't have jobs. When the deuce is the job market going to get better? More importantly, how did I land into the lucky mutha' club when there are so many other talented individuals in the same job pool as me?

For any of you out there struggling to find employment, I thought I'd share my job search tips in the hopes that they might help you. Here is what I did to land my current job:

1. I applied to every job in a surrounding one hour radius that had to do with education or with children. So what if my dream job wasn't working the Barnes and Noble children's story hour? Last year, I felt the pressing need to find a job now, now NOW! I think I applied to ten teaching jobs. I literally put an application in at every surrounding school board office.

2. I was friendly, perky even. I let my joy boileth over if you will. I distinctly remember my current boss asking me, "So you want to teach middle school?" to which I replied, "YES! I love middle school" Her response, "Wow. Not many people can say they love middle school." I mean, let's be honest, I would have loved mopping the middle school gym at that point because you know what I love even more than middle school? That's right, A JOB!

3. Which brings me to my next point: be humble. My principal made it very clear that my job might have only been a one year gig. I told her (with a smile on my face) that I completely understood. I explained that I was looking for an opportunity to get my foot in a door, and I didn't care if the job only lasted six months. I explained in my interview that I was from a family of teachers, and I knew how rank worked. I told her I was completely comfortable with taking a position if only for a year.

Part of being humble meant that I take a less than ideal job. I currently drive an hour to work, but I have work that I enjoy (which is apparently better than a lot of people). Instead of complaining, I find an abundance of things to be thankful for like having food.

I believe those three things led to my being hired. Like I said, I'm in the lucky mutha' club. I get to keep my job for another year. Here's why I think the rehired me (and actually stuck their necks out to keep me, but we won't go there today):

1. I show up to work. I give 110% when I'm there because my kids deserve 110%. I say yes to just about any special assignment. I worked after school homework help, I taught Saturday school, I worked town/school partnership festivals, I went on field trips. This summer I'm teaching summer school. I will continue to be friendly and upbeat. I try to take care of my own classroom management problems without bombarding the office with student referrals. I don't watch the clock (although I am counting days until summer break!). Essentially, I want to make it so they can't live without me.

Sadly, the job market is still depressing, and I may only keep my current job for another year, but I've got both my feet in the door. I am constantly searching for other job opportunities just in case the budget really stinks next year. Yes, I may lose my job, but I'm holding on for dear life. If you're looking for a job right now, I wish you speedy employment! Keep your head up; it can't stay this bad forever!

One Negative Equals Two Positives

What? That's not mathematically correct.
Well, that may be, but just the same that's how I've been running my life recently. This equation situation is how I'm dealing with negativity in my life. I'm going to share this with you in the hopes that the equation might bring you some peace and happiness too.

Alright, so first we need to put on our positive pants and then we need a scenario. Everyone dressed? Ok, scenario GO!

Yesterday morning I woke up and put on one of my new summer tops (yes, one that I just bought a few weeks ago). It's this lovely bright blue color, and I was excited to wear it because I got a new haircut and it's kinda boyish. The color of the shirt really helps bring out my eyes, so like I said I was excited to wear it.

Anyway, I put on my clothes and go to fix my hair and what do I notice in the mirror? My brand new shirt that I've only worn one other time has holes in it!!!!!! Negative! I uttered a cuss word because that's what I do, and then I stormed around the room a little bit and was angry about how changing was going to make me late to work.

But then I gave over to the positives. I wasn't going to be late because the lovely administration where I work was throwing us a lunch, so I could save time by not packing my own. POSITIVE! (Do you see how this works now?) Then I thought to myself "hey, I've got a body to put clothes on and it's pretty rad and healthy" (yeah, I just said rad). POSITIVE!

So yeah one negative equals two positives. If this doesn't work for you, maybe just remind yourself that one minor inconvenience isn't enough to abandon ship. Out of the 25,000ish days we get to spend on this odd little planet, a few bad mishaps make our time more interesting. I personally believe we're all here to learn a lesson or two. Why not use these negative events to teach yourself something...like HOW TO BE POSITIVE:) .

Down with the Naysayers!

I have never been afraid of a little hard work. Even when I wake a young tyke, I would push around my bubble mower for hours just workin' up a sweat (that's little me in the picture!). There was a period of time when I was a little lazy (circa middle school/high school), but when I got into college, my attitude on life totally changed, and I got busy.

Since I've been out of college, my work ethic has gotten even stronger. I'm constantly looking for ways at work to earn a few extra dollars, and even though I teach full time, I've been looking for a part time job on the weekends. Why? Because I have an evil "friend" named Sallie Mae. I want this heifer out of my life.

There are people out there in the world who are lazy. They say they "can't" pay off their debt. It's not that they can't; it's that they won't. If you roll up your sleeves and work hard, you can do anything. And maybe my philosophy sounds a little like pulling oneself up by his/her own bootstraps (o.m.g. imagine that!), but if you don't decide to take control of your financial life, who the heck will?

Now, I know times are hard, but when are times ever *not* going to be hard? Oh, that's right, WHEN YOUR FINANCIAL LIFE IS ON AUTO PILOT. You have two choices: kill your debt by karate chopping it each chance you get, or let it hang around, dragging you down for decades.

The latter just sounds depressing. I'm committed to working my buns off to kill Sallie Mae, and then I'm going to sit back and reap the benefits of being debt free. Can you imagine your life without minimum payments? I can. If I decide down the road that I don't like my job, I can quit. I can work minimum wage and stay comfortably afloat. I could follow my dream of writing. See, being debt free gives you choices.

So I say DOWN WITH THE NAYSAYERS! You can do this!