Vita Abundantior: A Life More Abundant

2/12 Poem

2012-02-10T16:44:00.000-08:00

The first poem of the year wasn't worth posting, so I threw you a bone with the Halloween-esque poem. What follows is the official second poem of the year.

If you write, maybe you will understand what I'm feeling. Sometimes I sit down to write and I feel like every word is utter crap, and then other times I sit down and the words flow from me quickly, so quickly that it almost feels like the poem is using me as an outlet. I imagine my poem floating around in space,undulating among airwaves, waiting for a writer to sit down with a little confidence and ink.

Sometimes I start with a line and what follows comes as a total surprise to me, like tonight. I had a first line and nothing else. Perhaps a Field of Dreams reference is appropriate here.

“Lover Seeks Kiss”

One third of the photograph is bursting:
pink and green azalea bush in full bloom,
dainty stamen extending shyly,
like a lover seeking a first kiss.
Cheeks blushing as fingers creep
over dewy skin, goose bumps
spreading, exploding over timid flesh
covering the total topography of skin.
Connecting islands,
one freckle to another, quickly expanding
like diffusion in a controlled lab,
like the suddenness of spring.
Stolen kiss,
hands sneak around hips:
fire lit.

Poem Bits: Pitch Black

2012-01-25T18:48:00.000-08:00

"Pitch Black"

Driving the Blue Ridge Parkway at night,
Silvery-white slip of a crescent
Casting midnight shadows
Over ghastly lit trees.
Bare limbs outstretched like fingers
snatching at stars with the help of trembling winds.

In the distance, a guttural howl,
A long, harsh call; one dog to another.
The quick clip of cirrus clouds,
Milky moon shudders out of sight.

Ho Hum

2011-10-04T20:19:00.000-07:00

Hello readers!

I apologize for my hiatus in writing, but I have been an unhappy bear the past few weeks. I'm not entirely sure what's wrong with me, but I'm not satisfied. I would go so far as to say I'm bored with my life which seems crazy to me because my calendar has been full for quite awhile now.

Maybe it's the monotony of work and the fact that summer has officially ended and the first cold snap has settled on us, but I want to do something different. I need to shake something up or I'm going to be in a permanent slump until spring.

Maybe it's because I'm not writing.
or not drinking.

Or is it the thing I don't want to say out loud?

I feel a need to get rowdy. To travel somewhere alone. To dare and eat a peach before I have to wear my trousers rolled. To "vita abundantior" while I still can.

I feel suffocated, and I desperately need to rip this plastic bag of discontentment free from my face. So forgive me for not posting, but I didn't want to burden you with my Debbie Downerisms.

Let's Review, Class

2011-09-06T17:35:00.000-07:00

Lately I've been getting a lot of messages about how I became debt free. (Recap for those of you who missed the first quarter of the game: I paid off $50,000 in a year and half.) From our conversations, I'm noticing that many of you are sick and tired of being up to your eyeballs in debt, and you're ready to roll up your sleeves and get serious about paying off your loans.

So here it is--a crash course in becoming debt free. *Remember, I am not a financial advisor, I am an English teacher. If you want fo' rizzle advice, you should seek the help of a trained professional.*

1. Dave Ramsey- This man was instrumental in getting me out of the gate. I read his book, Total Money Makeover, and learned how to budget. There are seven steps, and even today, I am working those steps (I am currently saving for retirement). While you are more than welcome to go out and buy a copy of his book (it's really terrific), I found my copy at the library because I didn't have enough money to buy my own personal copy. The month I read Dave, I had literally counted out pennies to have enough money to buy groceries (personal low).

2. Mint.com- This little gem of a website is a great way to track where you spend your money. I used it for three months before starting Dave Ramsey to figure out where I was bleeding cash money. Answer? Barnes and Noble. Yes, I was a little bit ridiculous with my book and magazine purchases there for awhile. Mint allowed me an honest look at my finances because, after all, those cool little pie graphs don't lie.

3. Recognizing a "Need" from a "Want"- I want lots of things. I want new clothes, I want to go on vacation, I want to decorate the walls of my house, but I only need three things: food, shelter, and water (and I'm not talking bottled Dasani). I stopped eating out all together, and cooked dinner every night. My big secret? Meal planning. I stopped wastefully spending money on groceries and made each penny count. I clipped a few coupons, but honestly planning out my meals and buying only those ingredients was what kept my budget in check. Grocery shopping became a game for me. I wanted to see how well I could eat for under $50 a week.

4.Every last cent- I put every free dollar toward my debt. I did nothing that required money for a year and a half, and you know what? I became happier. I stopped focusing on what I didn't have and focused on what I did have. I cultivated a true heart of gratitude during this period, and I saw firsthand what God can do when we're willing to do a little work ourselves.

5. Take advantage of free things- We live in a country where we pay a butt load of taxes. Take advantage of the few good things they provide for us. My library became my new best friend. I borrowed books, magazines, and movies from the public library instead of buying them. I also spent a lot of time walking the trails at the park and even took up a little disc golf during this time period.

Paying off my debt was difficult. There were many times when I wanted to give up, but I kept pushing through. Like losing weight, if you want to see results you have to do something radically different. Being debt free has been such a blessing to me the past nine months. I will happily tell you about the benefits of being debt free in my next post, so stay tuned.

Writing Bits

2011-09-03T15:48:00.000-07:00

When I think about your eyes
exposed to the bare flesh of another,
my stomach churns into tangled knots.
I use my fingers to untie them
(same fingers with which I touch
your skin alone)
but they return, tight.
You mark your territory on pretty doves,
aim your metaphorical gun at them,
but the only one left bleeding red
is this brown headed robin.
I want to horde your eyes selfishly
so their lenses reflect only images of me,
want to be the only one
covered in your brand name.

My Heart has a Rip

2011-08-29T18:26:00.000-07:00

I am struggling. This is difficult for me to admit, but I know that if I don't deal with these feelings, I'm going to ruin a relationship that makes me very happy.

My heart has a rip. Each time I think I have sewn the tear up on one side, the seam comes undone on the other end. I am angry at the one who put the rip there to begin with. It's like that T. Swift song "A Perfectly Good Heart. The lyrics go something like this:

"Why would you wanna make the very first scar? Why would you wanna break a perfectly good heart?"

Specifically, I am having issues with trust, and I am feeling insecure. I have been praying about these things, and I'm trying to remember that I am fearfully and wonderfully made. My worth has to come from a higher place and not from any one person here on Earth. This is difficult to do when all around me there are airbrushed and photoshopped images. I can't walk around with a professional hair stylist (it simply doesn't fit into the budget), and I am getting the angry teacher wrinkle at 25 (time is quickly marching down my face).

When it comes down to it though, I've got to give up these feelings. I am living in fear that my current relationship will end the way my last relationship ended, and it's not fair to my beau to put this baggage on his back. He has done nothing to make me suspicious. I'm at the point where I have to ask myself: so what if he cheats? While I would be heartbroken, his actions are out of my hands. I have to take a chance and choose to trust him for what he says, and I have to focus on me. I have to continue to do the things that make me happy and let my worth come from within and from above.

"Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows." Luke 12:7

Joseph Cambell and 101 Ways to be Blissed Out

2011-08-04T18:58:00.000-07:00

I graduated high school on a hot and humid Virginia evening. There was heat lightening outlining a silhouette of the mountain, and rain drops splattered onto the top of my maroon cap. In order to protect our diplomas from being ruined by rain, the school handed out fake scrolls on stage, and we received our actual diplomas on a table inside the gym. On each scroll was the follow quotation:

Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors where there were only walls. -Joseph Campbell

At the time, this quote meant very little to me. I slid the scroll into the side of my white Pontiac door, and drove off into my unknown future. Over the past year, this quotation has become a light with which I view my life. Maybe it is selfish, but I have come to the conclusion that I don't want to spend anymore time doing what I find unpleasant. I want to do only those things that fill my life with joy and make me content. We only get one go on this ride of life, afterall.

As you know, I started this blog to document my 101 things in 1001 days. Unfortunately, a lot of my 101 things had to do with someone who is no longer in my life, and so I stopped pursuing that list and instead pursued survival of the heart for awhile. Since the beginning of June, I've been considering what things would make my life full, and I started to write down all the things I'd like to experience and accomplish. I'm still working on it, but I have begun to establish a new 101 list. This time, each goal will be something for me because a person cannot base her life on making someone else happy. That's no way to live at all. I've found that making myself happy places people in my life who have the same interests and goals as I do, thus making my relationships with others more meaningful.

and isn't that what life is all about? Genuine connections and love for people on earth: Agape.

(101 List to follow. Stay tuned.)

Twitterpated

2011-07-27T14:46:00.000-07:00

(I'm goin to geek out just a little, so please forgive me.)
Do you remember this term from the Disney classic Bambi? If we were to look it up in the Disney Glossary of Made Up Words, we might find this definition:
Twitterpated (adj) totally and completely smitten (as in "I am twitterpated over my new beau.")

and girls and boys, am I ever!

Montana came to Virginia and spent a fantastic five days at my house. We acted like kids and did everything from riding the ferris wheel to zipping down waterslides. I made him dinner, he fixed my dryer, we walked the dog, and in general did life together.

Most everyone in my immediate circle of family and friends knows about Mr. Brawny Man Fantastic Pants, but I was hesitant to post him as my fo' realsies boyfriend on FB because I was nervous people would think it was too soon for me to be in a serious relationship. Then I decided to say the hell with what other people think! I am following my bliss, and this guy adds so much dimension and vibrancy to my life. Sometimes he will say things, and I'll think "my goodness...that's exactly what was going through my head." He always gets my jokes, is a wonderful kisser, and he makes me smile like none other.

In the past, I've dated guys based on physical attraction. I even married the ex with physical attraction being 90% of the deal. With Montana it is different. Don't get me wrong, I think he is ridiculously handsome, and don't even get me started on those shoulders. . . but my attraction to Montana comes from our personalities being 100% compatible. He is active, likes to talk, and loves life. No surprise, but so do I!

I can't wait until he comes to stay again. Call me crazy (and if I'm wrong, oh well), but he might just be it.

Untitled Poetry Bits

2011-07-27T07:48:00.000-07:00

How do they learn to be men,
these boys without fathers?
Their hands clasped clumsily around baseball bats,
unsure how to swing a punch
or aim the cold silver of a bullet
at the pulsing throat of a deer.

A shaky trigger finger
clutched tightly around a mother's hem
holding on until facial hair and embarassment.
Sneakers following blindly other sneakers
onto unlined courts or into danger,
willing to risk life to be included.
Together they figure out
how to say enough to drop panties
but not enough to keep the same pair of legs returning.

When do they learn to kiss with gentle lips
to support the weight
of a family, to carry
the garbage out every Tuesday,
to unclog drains and pitch tents in the backyard?
To come home, turn the key in the same lock,
to do right in a world of wrong.

It Got Better

2011-07-10T04:53:00.001-07:00

and by it, I mean life.

Today is the day I will be officially divorced (provided ex does his part and goes to the court house). Even though the physical process of "goin through a Big D" was quite simple (writing up papers, etc), the waiting was awful (six months in my state since we had no kids). For months, I have been nervously anticipating this day. Even though I wasn't to blame, I've gone through the catalogue of emotions, these being the big three:

Embarassment: How could I ever tell this to people I knew? Here I was, not even 25 and already "throwing the towel in." I could hear people's jaws smacking in the back of my head. I grew up Southern Baptist, and I felt shame and guilt for not upholding one of God's Covenants. But when the other person has already "left" the marriage and has no desire to work on it, what was I to do? Sit at home like a 50's housewife, drinking martinis and pretending like I didn't know my husband was screwing around? I don't think so.

Anger: For awhile there, I wanted to bust some windows out of his car, light a match to his mailbox, have my dad rough him up, punch his skank in the face. But somewhere along the way, I realized he didn't deserve so much energy. I figure since he and this woman don't seem to take commitment seriously (and since I do), they deserve each other! Even in the early stages, I knew in my heart that I was loveable, and lo and behold someone has come along who is completely trustworthy and is as crazy about me as I am him.

Peace and Contentment: I have built a life for myself in a new town. I wedged myself into the community, made a group of fantastic friends, and moved into the cutest little rental house. I overcame some fears (living on my own, traveling alone, cooking for one), and feel like this experience has made me more independent.

I used to dread finalization like the plague, terrified that I would have a crippling case of depression and wouldn't be able to get out of bed, but instead I am (dare I say it?) excited. It feels like once I cut this ball and chain officially off, my life will finally spin into a beautiful state of opportunity, adventure, and happiness. I will no longer tiptoe dangerously close to them, pulling toward them as a metal chain yanks me back. No, I will run free into the deep waters and let out a sigh that only my soul can muster.

If you're going through the Big D, rest assured (from someone who has been there) that it does get better. I can't tell you how long it will take for you to find the peace and contentment stage, but I promise you it is there. I am so thankful to be where I am now because my life isn't just better, it's at it's very best.

Life Happens

2011-06-28T07:42:00.000-07:00

I had spent the day of the trip like any other. I woke at eight, took a shower and dressed, then had barbecue with the Snowmonster in town. Unlike other days, I spent the evening on a plane to see my best friend and college roommate in Maine.
Being only my second flight ever, I was quite nervous. I boarded the plane and took my seat next to an older gentleman. Unfortunately for him, I had the aisle seat and separated him from his wife and kids. I offered to switch him seats, and found myself wedged between this older man and a fellow roughly my age.

Can you guess where this is going?

Yup. I met a fellow on a plane. A legit fellow that I am willing to go on the record with. How did this happen? Let me back up and take you from where I was to where I am.

The week prior to this trip, I was sitting with Johanna having a drink and dinner. We were both depressed and singing "mirror in the sky, what is love?!" Between our lyrical shenanigans, we discussed how exhausted we were from dating a bunch of no potential suitors. Worse than disappointing dates, we were both dreading the work that comes with building a relationship. You have to bare your soul, listen as someone else bare theirs, pick up their baggage... I mean, like I said: EXHAUSTING.

Not only is dating exhausting and disappointing, it's confusing. There are so many rules! Having read "He's Just Not That Into You", Johanna and I try to follow the "don't call him/let him call you" rule, but the crappy part is when you have a decent time with someone and then they follow the "Bro Code" which was explained to me by a male friend as "the 72 hours after a date where you are not to call the lady because you don't want to appear desperate." Like I said, confusing. So young ladies like myself sit at home waiting by the telephone wondering if a suitor will call, or not call. That night, Johanna and I had decided we were not waiting by the phone anymore. We were swearing off serious love because clearly it didn't exist in our world.

Fast forward to me on this plane with a guy from Montana (who shall be referred to as Montana from here on out). We spent the two hours of the flight wrapped up in easy conversation. One thing led to another, and we spent twelve hours traipsing through shore and forest, eating ice cream, watching a film, and discussing particulars in a Portland park. With him, it is so easy. There is no exhaustion whatsoever, and it feels natural and right.

I am scared because it hasn't been that long since my marriage dissolved, but I sense that passing this up would be a terrible mistake. So here I go again, believing in Beauty, Truth, and Love as the Bohemians do in Moulin Rouge. I may get hurt, and my heart may end up even more tattered and bruised, but for him, it's a risk I'm willing to take. :)

Poem: The Good Times

2011-05-28T14:30:00.000-07:00

Separating you from this despicable act
is easier as hands spin round the face of a mantel clock.
Each day, I am increasingly reminded of the good: three times
and no luck on the chocolate pie with meringue,
the time the beaters ate the shell and you laughed
as filling flew through the air and stuck to cabinets and hair.
Or the day you were in the snow with a hammer
building our yellow shed.
I had the lemon pound cake baking, running to town
to grab stamps or pay a bill
and you forgot to take it out and I cried.
You smiled and ate the burnt bits anyway.
Or my 23rd birthday when you had to work.
You left clues around the apartment,
a gift hidden in each room: Edward Cullen
stuffed under the couch cushion,
a cd in the washing machine,
tickets to see Blink in the mailbox.

Three days before you told me,
I came home to a dozen red roses.
How cruel of you to kill a fresh flower
to clear your guilty conscious,
and yet the day they arrived
I had never felt more loved.

Oh, Hi Networth. You're Cute.

2011-05-28T08:55:00.000-07:00

Getting divorced is expensive. I highly don't recommend it. It took a few months for me to get back on my feet, what with the fee to turn on my electricity, buying a bed, putting a deposit down on an apartment. Gah! I felt like I was bleeding money.

Slowly but surely I've been socking a little money away each month, and I've finally got a small sum in my checking account as an emergency fund. It's not 6-12 months worth, but it would get me through a few months if necessary. And this week I did the one thing I desperately wanted to do before my 25th birthday: I started my Roth IRA. I chose to invest in a target fund through Vanguard. I've watched the target funds for about a year now and finally decided to give it a go. Since learning about investing, I've decided to take this lesson to heart: time in the market is better than timing the market.

So now I am $1000 closer to retiring when I'm 55. I'm closer to having that river/lake/beach front property to enjoy, to traveling through Europe DEBT FREE!

Financial goals for the remainder of the year? Pay my brother back the cash fundage he let me borrow when the Big D went down. My other goal is to have my Networth hovering around $9,000 by Jan. 1.

My Next 25 Years

2011-05-25T14:54:00.001-07:00

The other day I was playing a game of (Clean) Dirty Hearts with the gal pals, and I was asked where I saw myself in five years, then I went out on Sunday and was asked where I saw myself in ten years, and my boss wants to know where I see myself in twenty years.

My honest answer? I. Don't. Know. In five years, I'll be the dreaded thirty. Interestingly enough, it doesn't bother me. Won't it be refreshing to stand firm in the comfort of a solid identity? Or will I continue to ask myself where my life is heading? If you'd asked me a year ago (heck six months ago) where I saw myself in five years, I would have seen myself as a married mother of 3.5 children. But now I'm not sure I want that. I want to fall in love again. I know I want that, but who knows if that will be in the next five years or in the next eighty? I want to pulse with anticipation when a certain person pulls into my driveway (who will that person be?). I want to share the morning paper with someone over shitty cereal. I want to make out on a beach, on a ferris wheel, in the back of a truck/car/boat. I want to laugh with someone until my side aches. I want to do all of this and more, but I don't know if I want to marry again until I'm 50 (or ever).

and if I'm confused about where I'll be in five years, I'm even more at a loss with the ten year timeline. I'd like to have a Roth IRA that is performing. I'd like my networth to be over $100,000. I'd like to go to Greece, maybe get a master's degree, finish my poetry project.

I'm turning twenty five in a short 13 days, and I'm faced with this question again: what am I doing with my life? I keep waiting for an answer, for something to hit me in the face and say WHAM! THIS IS WHAT YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE DOING. But all I can focus on is the fact that I'd like to make and eat a chocolate pie. So that's what I'm going to do in my next 25 years. I mean, not make the pie (well I probably will bake), but follow all of my heart's healthy desires.

Divorce Poetry Part 4

2011-05-20T13:44:00.000-07:00

See? I'm dealing with it in my own way.

Message R9K

Tell him I go weeks
without the thought of his face.
I am able to forget the existence
of someone who for so long
held my blood red heart
in his guitar calloused fingers.
I focus on Marie Howe's
"What the Living Do."
I lug the trash to the corner,
fold my wrinkled laundry,
wash the eight glasses of water
left randomly in each room
(He always hated that.
I can hear him now:
"Can't you keep up with one glass?"
NO!)

Tell him I do fine
until I catch myself shoving
an empty pizza box under
the trash can
or breaking the white shell
of an egg only to return
the shards to the crate
the way he did.
I keep the swispers under
the sink for him even though
I know he will never touch
their round cotton ends.

Tell him it's like a death, but worse
because he lives on without me
by choice as if I am someone forgettable,
as if he was the only one who gave up dreams,
the only one who deserved happiness.

Divorce Poetry Part 3

2011-05-20T13:39:00.000-07:00

Again, rough and more free versey and conversational than what I usually write.

Barren

I turn a key to a door
that no longer leads to you.
The paint chips around the panes
dirt and webs crowd each corner.

Our home was bright--
a cheery yellow in a world
blurring around the edges, gray and black.
I hold on to the dreams we shared: a deck
extended for years, a privacy fence for the dog and kids.
But I realize your dreams no longer match mine.

How do I continue to move through this place with these old things,
these trinkets, lost and found.
A mirror, a clock, time
running out and me still here,
thin and frail.

Divorce Poetry Part 2

2011-05-20T13:34:00.001-07:00

This is rough, but I actually wrote this a month before the bottom fell out. Women's intuition? Mayhaps.

Flesh Needs

I found the stain today,
gaping wet red mouth staring back at me.
I can tell you don't care for me
as you once did,
though you still laugh at my jokes,
trace circles on my open palms, hold
my brown hair in your hands tentatively
as if you aren't sure how
to proceed.

It used to be summer in this house:
windows flung open
in the sticky night,
moths flying blinding into porchlight,
not waiting even for a breeze to blow.

Eighty more year of contemplative comraderie
then our flesh rots and wastes.

31-35

2011-04-19T17:39:00.001-07:00

#31: Friends who are willing to take time out of their day and help you set up wireless interwebs :)
#32: the sound of children playing outside even after the sun has gone down and the street lamps have turned on
#33: The 3:07 bell that marks the end of the school day
#34: Netflix. Love it.
#35 The feel and smell of warm laundry out of the dryer

Thriving

2011-04-18T18:02:00.000-07:00

As I sit on my couch tonight eating Krispy Kreme and listening to Say Anything (no judgement), I find myself thinking about Diane Keaton in Under the Tuscan Sun. I want to know why my divorced life isn't as glamorous as hers. How come I can't go off and have an Eat, Pray, Love adventure and let my soul sop up everything delicious and delectable and heal? Instead, I woke up this morning to my dog ralphing on the empty side of my queen size bed. Meh, I thought sleepily, I can't smell it. I'll just roll over. But then my alarm went off, and since there is no one to hit the snooze button but me, I went ahead and put my bare feet down on the hardwood.

It's not so much that I miss going to bed with someone. Sleeping with a partner is overrated. Someone inevitably snores, or has bed sweats, or funky-fied morning breath. (I, myself, am a self-professed cover hog, and I tend to flail like an octopus. No lie, I tuck the blankets under my body like a caterpillar so they can't be taken away. I dare you to try and unroll me from my cocoon. You will get a karate kick to the face.) No, I don't miss co-sleeping. I miss the hours before sleep: the comfort of sharing a meal with someone, the two hours of t.v. and minor arguments over what should fill the screen, the kiss after quickly brushed teeth... oh and relying on someone else to be the last to turn off the light.

But now? Now I flip the switch and run from the darkness into the comfort of my empty bed. I wake up some mornings and reach, but no one is there. On those mornings, I'm filled with an emptiness that not even a whole sleeve of Ball Park Hot Dogs can erase (did I mention I'm eating like crap?). On my worst days, I hate him for leaving me to pull too-full trashbags from undersized cans. Or I scream his name like a cuss word when I hit my finger with a hammer trying to hang something on my bare walls in the apartment that I really don't like. I put "You Outta Know" on repeat and belt it so loud that my neighbors quiet their t.v. to listen. I sleep too much, or too little. I wish his little internet skank the clap. Or herpes. Or crabs. (I know it's not Christian... but thinking about her itching open scabs makes me laugh.)

But most days, I'm talkin' 5 out of 7 days, I wake up to my yellow comforter (yes, yellow! No more neutral man-pleasin' colors), and I smile into the anticipating face of Margot. I go to the store to buy groceries, and I do that thing he always hated (I talk to EVERYONE at the check out and find out their life story, tell them mine, make friends with strangers, and generally hold up the line). I spend my nights reading smutty romance novels, painting (then repainting) my toenails. I put Margot's hair into a mohawk and then into a ponytail, drink a bottle of wine and sing Hank. I go to Bible study or the gym, watch my girl's play soccer, fantasize about Marcus Flutie or Bo Duke or Edward Cullen or . . .

I write a poem, go out with the girls, have a date, shop the farmer's market, analyze my net worth, count the days until my next vacation, flirt with available men, count the number of times I blink during a commercial, make play lists for days of the week. I drive through this strange town with the windows down and let the hot, yellow sunshine dance on my newly darkened hair.

I listen to that old brag (I am, I am, I am), and I rest assured that this is for the best.

Poem : Songs by a Wart Frog

2011-03-31T18:13:00.001-07:00

Do you ever want to say something profound but can't organize enough thoughts to do so? I feel like my soul may explode if I don't put some things down on paper, but instead I sit here staring at this blue computer screen, grinding my teeth to the point of pain. I know what the gnashing means: it is time to write, and I know what I have to do, but I can't bring myself to put pen to paper.

Writing has always been what has gotten me through hard times, and I know that once I do this, I will heal. Do I want to heal? Yes. But to do this I must write about him and what he was to me, but quite frankly I just don't think he deserves anymore of my time. At the same time, if I don't write about this, I will never sleep again.

So here they are, first thoughts, no order:

Your khaki suit is perfectly pressed,
no wrinkles or signs of worry.
You stand at the end of the blooming lavender, waiting.
You do not smile at me as I start
my walk toward forever
(I tell myself you are nervous).

That morning I wake at dawn,
tiptoe down the ladder from the loft
and sneak out onto the porch overlooking the river.
In the sky, a bird soars: a dance of freedom.
We nod to each other, as if accepting
we can no longer coexist.
She disappears into the height of an oak,
her wings fluttering out of sight,
and I leave her to prepare for you.

When the day is over and the cake
has melted on the table from the sun,
even after we have napped and ravenously eaten the remainder
of the ripe strawberries,
we sit outside under the dippers listening to toads croak.

You used to pluck strings
on your guitar and sing me
songs about how I was your perfect seven, heaven.
Tonight, I hope for you
to tell me I am beautiful,
but the only one serenading is the wart frog.
________________________________________________

#26-30

2011-03-31T18:05:00.000-07:00

#26 I love The Oprah Magazine. I realize that I'm probably not their main demographic. I mean, I feel like the magazine is aimed for women in their late thirties, forties, and fifties, but to be honest, I find the articles uplifting and encouraging. It's nice that when I open up O, I'm not going to constantly be slammed with images of airbrushed size 00's.

#27 I have a love / hate relationship with Facebook. I hate that I seem to lose hours surfing people's profiles, but I also love being able to keep up with friends and family.

#28 Good books

#29 70+ degree weather. I love sunshine and summertime.

#30 The chance to find love and live again. As I wrote before, having hope that I may meet someone is enough to get me through my days. and in the meantime, I'm having a blast living the single girl life.

#20-25

2011-03-29T17:09:00.000-07:00

#21 I am the assistant coach of a varsity soccer team where I work, and I must say that I am so thankful to have the privilege of being a part of this team. The girls always make me laugh, and hanging out at practice and at games gives me a good way to take my mind of things.

#22 Baby lotion. It keeps my silky smooth 24 hours a day. Let's hear it for pretty skin!

#23 People who say they will be there for you, and then are there for you. That's what commitment is all about. Showing up.

#24 I am thankful for asparagus. It is the one vegetable that I always get jazzed up to eat.

#25 Hope. Even if nothing comes from a situation, the hope that something might is worth getting up for in the morning.

Have a fantastic Tuesday night!

I Think March Got Confused...

2011-03-28T08:15:00.001-07:00

In like a lamb, out like a lion? What is this? Just the same, I am thankful for:

#16 The 2-3 inches of snow hanging around outside my apartment. It's beautiful!

#17 A random snow day. I woke up this morning to the buzz of my cell phone and a two hour delay. When I woke up again two hours later, I was pleasantly surprised to find out we got a full out snow day! This break allowed me to spend the morning reading, cheerfully cleaning, and praying/Bible studying.

#18. I am thankful for different versions of the Bible. I read Corinthians 7 in The Message and found this verse:

"On the other hand, if the unbelieving spouse walks out, you've got to let him go. You don't have to hold on desperately. God has called us to make the best of it, as peacefully as we can."

I can't tell you how many times I've read Corinthians 7 over the past few months, and this verse in particular, but something about this translation really touched my heart and made me believe that I am handling my situation in the correct way.

#19. I am thankful for a good night's sleep. I feel so rested for the first time in awhile. I can't wait to get my new bed so I can sleep well every night!

#20. The Pioneer Woman's blog. Can I just say that I had no idea how to cook until I started reading her blog? She taught me SO MUCH about cooking. I'm not afraid to try new things now. Thanks Ree!

Here's to another Manic Monday! :)

#11-15

2011-03-27T06:18:00.000-07:00

Happy Sunday! #11 I am thankful for Pepperidge Farm Cinnamon Swirl bread. Currently, this is the breakfast of choice for me. It is delicious. #12 I am forever grateful for my two siblings. I don't think they will ever know how grounded and sane they have kept me over the past twenty odd years. #13 I am thankful for my students. I desperately want children, and in the meantime they are a good substitute. Whenever I feel sad about not having my own family, I remember that God has entrusted me with 300 little buggers to teach, minister, and half-raise. Plus they make me laugh. and I LOVE to laugh. #14 I am grateful for church. I love starting my week off feeling uplifted and refreshed. #15 and along those lines, after church lunch with some of the best people you will ever meet.

# 6-10

2011-03-25T19:56:00.000-07:00

#6 I am thankful for the end of another work week. For the most part, I enjoy my job, but I still get so excited when 3:07 rolls around and I can yell "IT'S FINALLY FRIDAY!"

#7 Sappy Taylor Swift songs. No judgment. The girl writes awesome lyrics. I mean "the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now" really speaks to my soul. Just sayin'.

#8 My R-MWC degree. I learned how to lead as opposed to follow.

#9 Cucumbers. I love a cucumber. I'll eat one any day of the year. So crisp and delicious. Let's hear it for those little bitty seeds!

#10 Sleepin' in on a Saturday morning. There is nothing better than switching off the alarm Friday night...oh except for waking up at 10am on Saturday morning feeling refreshed.

Night all.

Gifts #1-5

2011-03-24T18:21:00.000-07:00

1. First and foremost, I am thankful for the love of Jesus Christ. I think of the song "How He Loves Us" that starts with "He is jealous for me" and later says "if grace is an ocean we're all sinking / and heaven meets Earth like a sloppy wet kiss / and my heart turns violently inside of my chest /and I don't have time to maintain these regrets when I think about the way he loves us." The truth of the matter is that most days I forget how completely God loves me (and you). He wants more than mediocre for my life. He wants my life to be full of JOY. That involves giving up some vices, but we are promised an abundant life throught the love of Christ.

2. I am thankful for an article I read today in an old Self magazine. The article was talking about updating your list of requirements for a mate. The writer's first husband had died, and when she finally started dating again, she had a very different list of qualities she wanted. The part that really spoke to me was the section about wanting to have a good time. She wanted to find someone who said "YES!" to adventure. When I read the paragraph at the gym, it was like a light bulb went off. I, too, want to have wild makeout sessions in the car, travel to beaches across the globe, climb a mountain, camp at Floyd Fest, dance in the rain, ride a bike with someone tandem style, take a cooking class and burn everything and laugh about it. Sometimes other people can take a truth you carry in your heart and phrase it in such a way that it touches you to the very marrow. I am thankful for this experience (and their gift).

3. I am grateful for my Galaxy Girls. I never thought I'd have best friends in my adult life. I assumed that I would get married and hide away in a hole with my husband. And, quite frankly, I didn't believe I'd ever find friends as awesome as the Fab Five in college. But here I am, included in a new group of Fab Five (isn't it interesting that I seem to always find friends in groups of four?) During the past three months, they have been so wonderful and supportive. From letting me crash on a couch to being there when I need a distraction, they have truly been a blessing to me.

4. I am thankful for Margot who is looking up at me with her cute face begging me to play fetch right now. She snuggles with me every night. She's a halfway decent dog. :)

5. I am thankful for work. Idle brains are dangerous. I relish being busy. I also like to eat and pay my bills. I am so thankful to have employment when a great majority of the country is still unemployed.

There they are. #1-5. God bless, and goodnight!

Mic Check

2011-03-20T16:02:00.000-07:00

Is this thing on?

First, let me apologize for going on a three month hiatus. I am going through a redirection period in my life. Without going into details (for fear of hurting the guilty), I've moved to a new town on my own. (I do have the love of my life, Margot the wonder dog, with me.) I have a cute little apartment a few minutes from work, and I'm making friends and thriving.

I've been thinking a lot about happiness lately, and I'm realizing that happiness is not an end result but rather the journey. I don't want to focus on reaching the summit and miss the hike. As goal oriented as I've been in life, I'm learning to relax and take each day as it comes. I may wake up alone in my bed, but there's a tub of strawberries sitting on the table callin' my name and mine alone. Abundant rays of sunshine cascade through my windows filling my house and soul with light.

Naturally, my blog needs to change. Many of my goals were founded in someone elses happiness, and that has to change. What I've decided to do is to continue the Gratitude List I wanted to begin at New Year. I feel an overwhelming sense of gratitude to God for His amazing supply of gifts. So stay tuned for my Abundant Life: a 1000+ Gifts.

Happy New Year!

2011-01-09T16:46:00.000-08:00

I hope everyone had a fantastic Christmas and New Year celebration. I thoroughly enjoyed my time off from work, and I loved ringing in 2011 with some good friends. 2010 was such a good year, and I am optimistic that 2011 is going to be even better because I DON'T OWE SALLIE MAE ANYTHING! I'm sorry... I never get tired of saying that.

So what is on the menu this year? Well, I have updated my side bar to let you see what my goals are for 2011. I have to finish my 101 things by the middle of March in 2012, so these goals reflect the remaining thirty-ish from the original goal list.

I wish everyone a happy work week, and I will update as soon as I finish my first goal of 2011.

It is finished!

2010-12-20T19:57:00.000-08:00

I really wanted to call into Dave Ramsey's show and scream it, but I'm a little shy. I decided instead to share with you how the conversation would go:

Me: Hey Dave! How are you?
Dave: Better than I deserve! What's up?
Me: I'm calling because I'm debt free!
Dave: Awesome! How much did you pay off?
Me: $50,000 to Sallie Mae in 12 months.
Dave: WOW! Kicked the old lady to the curb! And what was your income during that time?
Me: It's hard to say really because it was my first year working, but I think we grossed a little over $75,000 this year.
Dave: Wait a second, that's not mathematically possible! Did you sell stuff?
Me: No, we had some money in savings when we started the process, and then we also stupidly bought a house, but we got the tax credit. We used it to pay down the debt.
Dave: Oh, alright. Well cool. What was the hardest part of this process?
Me: Probably giving up the dinners out. My husband and I really love to eat out, and we didn't get to do that much while we were paying off the loan. I got really good at meal planning. Our spaghetti didn't have meat for a long time.
Dave: I hear ya. What's the key to this?
Me: Sticking to the budget, Dave. and ignore the nay sayers. There are a lot of people who can't celebrate the fact that you're doing something good in your life. You've just gotta keep your head up and keep working hard.
Dave: Snoopy dance, I hear ya. Well congratulations and count it down.
Me:Three, two, one I'M DEBT FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Listen, thanks for sticking around to see the end of my debt free journey. I promise 2011 will hold some exciting blog posts. I'll be M.I.A. until after Christmas, but I pray your holidays are merry and bright. God bless!

Bah Humbug Goals!

2010-12-10T00:52:00.000-08:00

As the end of the year quickly approaches I've realized I am slackin' on the 25 goals I wanted to accomplish in 2010. I have nine goals that have yet to be completed, and still yet a ton on the original list that I have postponed until I'm debt free (THIS MONTH! WHAT WHAT!)

I could have accomplished watching a play at the Barter this weekend with some new friends, but unfortunately I had already commited this weekend to another friend's Christmas party (which I know is going to be epic and full of tacky Christmas sweaters. Huzzah!), so I had to decline the invite to see "It's a Wonderful Life." :(

I had planned to read "Gone with the Wind" this month, but I'm a little wrapped up in my first read through of Harry Potter. The little wizard boy has finally caught my attention, and Scarlet somehow pales in comparison right now. Plus I'm really into self-help books/blogs right now, and they are cutting into my extra reading time.

Alas, my sister and I have not had our toes painted mostly because I haven't had the cash flow. I'm hoping over Christmas break she can carve out a nice afternoon to go get her tootsies painted with me. (She deserves a relaxing afternoon without her five children!)

I feel satisfied with my accomplishments for the year, and I still have 409 days left to go before my challenges expire, and I only have 32ish goals left to complete! If I fail, I can always make another list and try again! :)

Top Five Lessons I've Learned While Becoming Debt Free

2010-11-28T15:08:00.000-08:00

This month I will complete my journey to being debt free. I cannot believe I'm here. I thought it would take me ten years to pay off Sallie, but the freedom is just around the corner. The reality sunk in last night when I was talking with my husband. In fact, I was almost giddy with excitement. Anyway, as I talked with Mr. J about the end of our journey, I came up with a top five list of lessons I've learned while becoming debt free. Here they are for you to peruse:

1. Contentment is everything. Before we got serious about becoming debt free, I complained about what I didn't have. The third month into the budget, I realized something very important: I have everything I need. What a novel concept! I have a home, I always have food, and I have clean running water. I know it sounds cliche to say that some people don't have these essentials, but the fact of the matter is that it's true. There are people all over the world who struggle to put food into their mouths everyday. The fact that I don't have a flat screen t.v. in my house pales in comparison to their lack of nutrition.

2. Get busy living your life. The summer of 2009 was a big year for me. I graduated college. I moved back home. I got my first "real" job. I married my honey. Unfortunately, amidst all these wonderful things, I was feeling a little blue. I had no friends. All of my friends from college had gone home, and all of my friends from home had moved away. My husband was working night shift, so I was pretty lonely. I spent a lot of time watching movies, t.v., surfing the internet, and shopping for fun. I was replacing relationships with people by filling my time with escapist activities. The cold hard truth was that at the end of a t.v. episode, I was still alone. So I started inviting people from work out to coffee. I found a church and became involved. I started volunteering in the community. Now my life feels so full that I've had to start practicing the art of saying no. I'm living my life as opposed to escaping it.

3. Stuff is just stuff. Simple living seemed like such a weird concept to me. Why would I want to bake my own bread when I can buy fresh loaves at the store? Why would I want to do without when I can have more? Even though advertisements try to convince us otherwise, stuff can't make us happy. I realized this as I cleaned out my closet for a yard sale. I had more clothes than I could wear in a month, yet I always seemed to wear the same six or seven outfits even though I always complained about having nothing to wear! I simplified my life and cleared out the clutter. I've never felt more organized. I feel like I have power over my house now instead of my house always feeling like it is out of control.

4. Giving is receiving. Money is a piece of paper. I do not want a piece of paper to be the main focus of my life. In order to move away from the widely held belief that money is everything, I needed to start giving some away. I've been focusing lately on giving God my first fruits. Before now, I would give Him my leftovers. Think about that: God, who gave me everything, gets what is left over after I fulfill my every desire. How stinkin' selfish! I've also been trying to volunteer at least once a month. Lately I find working with my hands so gratifying. My new favorite place to volunteer is called the Christmas Store. The store provides low income families gifts for Christmas. I only spent an hour there, but I was so moved by the experience that I know I'll go back.

5. Prioritize your wants. I could probably make a list of all the things I'd like to have over the course of my life, but I have to start with one thing at a time. Instead of buying everything we want on credit, we will start saving in January for one purchase at a time. Once we've paid cash for that purchase, we can start in on something else. I have a limited amount of cash flow, and I've learned throughout this process that I have to pay attention to my outflow. After all, delayed gratification is so rewarding in the end.

So there you have it: five lessons I've learned while becoming DEBT FREE. Isn't it funny that only one is truly money related? This experience was so much more than just getting a handle on my finances. I thought I knew these lessons because I certainly heard my lips saying some of them out loud, but I didn't know squat. The path to becoming debt free has changed my whole perspective on life. What effect could becoming debt free have for you?

Oh Snap: Novel Writing on the Fly

2010-11-02T09:10:00.000-07:00

Yes. I finally am completing one of my long standing goals: I am participating in NANOWRIMO and by the end of this month I will have a 50,000 word novel. I don't have a plan. Well, actually I do. I'm on the No Plan Plan which in itself is kinda like a plan. I decided to use my life as a spring board, so I'm writing a novel about a little girl named Janie who loses her mother to cancer. I'm writing the story from a 3rd person perspective, but I am trying to capture the thoughts and actions of a child. Getting started was fairly easy because I've had some scenes floating in my mind for awhile now, but I am a little nervous about the middle half of the book and, well let me be honest, the end of the book because I have no plot line. So basically I have a decent beginning, and then my book will likely falter.

But I fear not! Because Margot is sitting on my lap like a cat offering me looks of encouragement, and my novel may be the most boring novel ever written. It may not have a climax, but hey at least I took the time to write which is really the purpose of NANOWRIMO. WRITE! EDIT NOT!

In other news, I'm taking a bunch of old clothes to the Goodwill today. The Hubs and I organized our "guest bedroom" this weekend, and I finally have sorted out the things I want to keep and the things I want to get rid of. Organizing is very easy to do with the hubs because he and I are both minimalist. We hate crap taking up space. In fact, we are probably uber minimalists because I found myself asking him if I could throw away my wedding dress. I mean, let's be honest, what purpose does it serve? If I have a daughter she won't want to wear my dress. It'll be out of style. We decided to leave it in the back of the closet for another few months and re-evaluate my feelings at that time because sometimes I throw things away in the heat of organization and then I find myself looking for them months later and kicking myself for tossing that item. Case in point: my chocolate vitamins. I have no recollection of throwing them away, but they are gone. Ah well.

Sorry for the hodgepodge update, but it's been awhile, so I thought I'd kill a few goals with one post. :)

What would you do with $50,000?

2010-10-16T06:07:00.001-07:00

By the end of this year, I will have paid off $50,000 in student loans. How is this even possible? I don't know. I didn't think my husband and I made enough money to send $50,000 in a year. I can remember last year when I woke up in a panic because I didn't know if we would be able to afford to pay my student loan at all. It seemed like we had no money. I literally took my piggy bank and cashed it in so we could buy groceries one week between paychecks. This was the low point of my financial life.

Then I signed up for mint.com, and I tracked my money for two months. No two ways about it, I was ashamed. I was averaging $700 a month on stuff, and I had nothing to show for it. No fancy t.v., no pretty art work.

All of that is in the past though. I've come a long way in 10 short months, and I was thinking this morning about the $50,000. What could I have done this year with $50,000 if I hadn't been in debt? If I hadn't started this journey, the $50,000 probably would have been spent on a bunch of stuff. Even now, it doesn't seem fathomable to me that I could have an excess of that much money for free spending. I probably wouldn't have even been aware of the excess. I wouldn't have tracked my money at all, and the dollar bills would have flown out of my hand unmarked.

But now what would I do with $50,000? Assuming the hubs and I have this amount in excess next year, what could we do with it? Obviously I'm going to get my emergency fund in place, and I'm going to fully fund a Roth IRA for retirement, but even that leaves some excess. First, I think I'll put some fun money back into the budget. Not crazy amounts, but I do want to be able to eat out once a week with my husband. We really enjoy going out to dinner. Second, I will do a few house updating projects. Margot needs a fence so she can go outside (and so mama can tan without being in full view), and we will also expand our deck this year so we can finally have people over to grill out. Third, we're planning on doing a little traveling. I'm going on a girl's booze cruise trip, and the hubs and I are still planning where we want to go. Fourth and finally, I hope to send an extra five payments to my mortgage next year. I know this sounds boring, but I really want to be completely debt free before I'm 35.

What would you do with $50,000? Would you update a kitchen, save for a new house, spend it all on trinkets?

Book #21 Dear John

2010-09-27T12:25:00.001-07:00

I am not usually a Nicholas Sparks reader, but I had kinda wanted to see the movie Dear John. I try not to see movies before I read the books, so of course I set out over the weekend to read it. I like that Nicholas Sparks' are easy reads, and I generally can finish them in two days or less which was the case with this book as well.

I must say, however, that I wasn't a big fan of this story. It wasn't that the plot wasn't interesting. I enjoyed the overall story line, but I felt like Sparks broke the cardinal creative writing rule: show, don't tell. He TOLD this entire book. I think part of the "telling" stems from the fact that we don't really know what happened over in Iraq. The imagination can only go so far.

I have another Sparks' novel that someone gave me, and I'm thinking about reading it, but I might wait a few weeks. His books are so depressing.

29 books to go! I don't know if I'll be able to meet my goal this year, but I'll keep chuggin' on!

Do Not Seek the Treasure

2010-09-20T18:19:00.001-07:00

(of the Flea Market!!!)

One of my goals this year was to go to a flea market. Originally, I wanted to go to the Hillsville Flea Market because apparently it is epic. The town of Hillsville essentially shuts down for Labor Day weekend. People rent out their yards for parking spaces, and the public school closes for the Friday before in preparation for the massive traffic invasion on a two stop light town.

Unfortunately, I missed the Hillsville Flea Market and was reduced to going to the much smaller Dublin Flea Market, and just like that squirrly little guy in O! Brother Where Art Thou, I must reiterate: DO NOT SEEK THE TREASURE!

In layman's terms, the flea market SUCKED. I was expecting to find one of Madonna's rings or a signed copy of a Shakespeare play but no! Nothing! Instead, people were selling McDonald's Happy Meal toys for a dollar a piece. A dollar! And no meal? You've got to be kidding me... this frugalista is not buying a toy without a burger and fry.

Everything was so dirty too. I felt like I was scrounging through a dumpster. Not that everything in a flea market needs to be pristine. I just want it to be gently used and, you know, free from mold.

But hey, at least I completed another goal off my list. Until next time, kepp livin' vita abundantior!

Books 18, 19, & 20

2010-09-18T01:20:00.000-07:00

I am not entirely sure I will make my reading goal this year. Working sucks out all my energy so that when I return home in the evenings all I want to do is pass out cold on the couch. I have, however, made time to read these books:

18: Walk Two Moons. I read this last year with my sixth graders and really enjoyed it, so I decided my 6th grade class this year would read it as well.

19. Eat, Pray, Love. I must admit, I am not inspired to do anything by this book. I know Liz's travels have really helped/inspired/encouraged other women to do something with their lives, but I feel like I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be. I'm content. I also find her to be unflinchingly selfish at times, but I must say that I do enjoy her writing style. I think she is quite funny. I've got forty pages left, and I plan on finishing the book this morning. (What's my word that describes me? Present. As in I live in the Present. I don't think much on the past, and I don't worry much on the future. I'm in the present.)

20. Choosing Gratitude. I'm about to embark on this book as soon as it arrives from Amazon. We've decided to read this for the next book club. I'm going to go ahead and say I've read it now because I am going to read it, and then I'll tell you about it when I finish.

Alright, that's all in the land of books today. Happy reading!

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year?

2010-09-10T14:07:00.000-07:00

My sister always starts thinking about Christmas in June. It never fails. Immediately after she comes home from her summer vacation, my sister calls me and says "Have you started thinking about Christmas yet?" To which my brain is thinking "uh...Should I be thinking about Christmas? My brain is mentally in the sand right now." Then I start panicking. OMG SIX MONTHS UNTIL CHRISTMAS!! AHH!!!

For three months now my sister has been asking me about Christmas. I have no idea what to tell her, except that I'm still holding out for the Kindle I wanted last year but didn't get. Something tells me that she's not that interested in what I want for myself and instead she is fishing to see what I'm going to get her kids.

Last night, the husband and I counted the weeks until Christmas (15!). We decided to set our Christmas present budget at $460 this year. We also know we need to budget an additional $200 for our electric bill which shoots up due to the cold weather and our fantastical light display, and then of course we needed to budget $100 for Christmas time food (ie cookies for parties, ham for dinner, etc.). Wowserz! $760 just for one day?

This made me question: Is Christmas really the most wonderful time of the year, or is it just the most expensive time of the year?

(Picture of last year's tree)

Luckily, because my sister makes me think about Christmas so early, I'll be able to set aside enough money to cover all our Christmas expenses. That way I won't scream when the Christmas bill shows up on my doorstep on New Year's. (And we're soooooo not repeating last New Year's when I went to my Dad's and found a $7,000 student loan bill that hadn't got my address change memo. EEK!) No, this year we are starting off right. We are sticking to our budget, and we are staying on track to be debt free by the start of next year (and to have a debt free Christmas).

Anybody else out there created a Christmas budget yet, or am I the only one with a Type A sister?

T-Minus 5 Months

2010-08-28T08:34:00.000-07:00

Are you ready for this? I don't think you're ready.
BUT I FREAKIN' AM!!!!
At the end of this month, I will owe only Sallie Mae $12,900. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I will be DEBT FREE in 5 months.
I'm on the down hill slope.
I'm nearing the finish line.
I've sacrificed, and I'm gonna win and SOON.

**I'm secretly hoping to pay my loan off before Christmas so we can actually have a Christmas with presents this year. In order to do this, I'm hoping to work after school homework help. This will help me bring in an extra $200 a month or more. The husband is working extra hours at work right now, so I think this will assist in a quicker payoff as well.**

Look at this breakdown from the Gold Digger herself:
Signature Student-UNSUB /SLM PRIVATE CREDIT STUDENT LN TR $5,443.12

Stafford-SUB /SALLIE MAE TRUST - LSC/FL $64.00

Signature Student-UNSUB /SLM PRIVATE CREDIT STUDENT LN TR $4,173.67

Stafford-SUB /CAVALIER FUNDING 1 LLC $201.94

Signature Student-UNSUB /SLM PRIVATE CREDIT STUDENT LN TR $1,140.77

Stafford-SUB /CAVALIER FUNDING 1 LLC $253.98

Stafford-UNSUB /CAVALIER FUNDING 1 LLC $71.42

Signature Student-UNSUB $3,737.96

I owe $64 on one loan and $71.42 on another. I bet I have $64 worth of pennies sitting in my closet. I'm in lust with how manageable my debt is looking these days. I remember last fall I was in tears because I didn't think we'd be able to pay off my loan for ten years. And now look at us. We'll have paid off $50,000 in one year--the first year of our marriage. The sense of calm I feel at the end of December is going to be worth more than $50,000. It will be priceless.

I'm on a Mission.

2010-08-22T04:31:00.001-07:00

A house updating mission.

Background: My house is three years old. We've been here for a year, and we love the layout, but the design choices are a little too Home Interior 1990. Last fall, I updated the hall bathroom by ripping out the floral border and painting with a pop color, but I'm becoming restless with my great room/kitchen area.

The design elements that bother me the most are the light fixtures, the lack of va-va-voom in the kitchen, the low faucet, the country style kitchen cabinets, the yucky stick and peel laminate, and the missing crown molding (we would like to get rid of the carpet too, but we've decided we're going to wait on a floor switch until after we have kids and they've grown a little). We also have some outdoor projects that we'd like to undertake. Since we adopted Margot, we've realized how much we would love a privacy fence. We always planned to put a privacy fence up, but we were going to wait awhile; however, we're thinking we need to put the fence up sooner rather than later. We also want to expand our deck.

That's a lot of home improvement, and I have no idea how to hold a hammer!

But I have no fear, and I'm not sure if that makes my ideas exciting or just plain dangerous.

Unfortunately, we aren't made of money, so we're going to do a little at a time. The first and easiest project I want to tackle is the new kitchen faucet. Our current faucet isn't functional. If even one dish is in the sink, I can't fill up my Brita pitcher. So I've decided I want a tall kitchen faucet with the pull down sprayer like this one I found at Lowe's:

After I update the kitchen faucet, I think I want to tackle the light fixtures simply because I hate our ceiling fan and the off center light over the kitchen table. The fan is too low for our ceiling. If you lift your arms to stretch, you hit the light bulbs. That's not cute.

Anyway, I wanted to share my plan with someone. Much more on this later.

Cucumber Salsa! What what

2010-08-15T07:03:00.000-07:00

I have to share this with you. Make it. Delicious. Pour it over everything, or you could eat it with chips. I don't care what you do with it...JUST MAKE THE DARN SALSA.

1 cucumber
1 tomato
1 small onion
cilantro
1 lime

Chop up the veggies (make the onion pieces super small). Throw a cup of cuke and a cup of tomato into a bowl. Now, add as much onion as you like. The original recipe called for two tablespoons. I really like onion, so I added more.

Ok, now the fun part. Cut the lime in half. Juice both halves over the veggie mix (cut side up so you keep the seeds from falling into your salsa). Sprinkle some cilantro over the top (you can use fresh, but I don't have space to keep a ton of fresh spices on hand, so I use McCormick's). Cover the salsa and let it mellow in the fridge for thirty minutes or more.

So friggin' simple and yet the best tasting thing EVER. In fact, I might make it again tonight. Yum freakin' oh.

Ah Pancetta, How You Elude Me

2010-08-07T11:15:00.001-07:00

This week I'm going to make another Pioneer Woman recipe that involves leeks, pancetta, and pasta. I know, right? I think the dish is going to be delicious. Unfortunately, Wal-mart (where I regularly do my grocery shopping) didn't have Pancetta, so I had to drive across town to the Kroger.

In addition to the pasta dish, I am also going to make Pioneer Woman's meatballs this week because I bought a giant roll of hamburger meat and I've got to use it asap because I have no room in my freezer. (Yes, I am the cheap lady who buys the $7 hamburger log. Don't judge me. Or do. I don't really care.)

I haven't written much lately because Margot has been a handful and I also went out of town on a teacher's conference. I will try to do better about updating. My apologies. I'll let you know how the recipes turn out.

Everybody, Meet Margot.

2010-07-22T07:38:00.001-07:00

Margot, Meet everybody! This is the newest addition to my family. She's the first dog I've had in my adult life, and I loved her instantly. Yes, I realize she will make my monthly costs go up, but she brings me such joy, and life needs to have a lot of joy. Her initial costs "fit in my budget" for this month, and I can easily add her food to my monthly grocery bill. I've wanted a dog for about a year now, but I've been waiting to find the right breed for my lifestyle. I dog sat my brother's Yorkie for awhile last week, and I really enjoyed Gunner. I decided a Yorkie would be best for my lifestyle. She doesn't shed like some animals (I have allergies), and she is a good house dog.

I got her on Friday of last week from an elderly lady who bought her and then decided she couldn't take care of her. I think she was nervous about the dog tripping her. But now she is my furbaby, and I couldn't be happier!

On the Road Again

2010-07-16T04:49:00.000-07:00

Sadly, I will be taking a short hiatus from blogging for a couple of days. Don't fret though because this is a much anticipated trip. I am completing one of my 25 goals by going to visit my brother in KY. I will be sure to take lots of pictures so I can show and tell about my vacay.

Also, you will get to meet a very new addition to my immediate family who goes by the name of Margot. I cannot wait to introduce her to you!

Until then, happy weekend. Be safe and watch your Suze Orman. :)

Meal Planning for the Week

2010-07-12T21:11:00.001-07:00

Last week my meal planning was thrown off a little due to a visit from my brother and his family. We cooked out with family one day and then the next day my sister ordered pizza for dinner. This gave us a surplus of food because I never made it through the end of my roasted chicken as I had anticipated. Here is what is on the menu for this week:

Monday (today): We ate hot dogs, french fries, and the giant zucchini I showed you from the farmer's market
Tuesday: Potato soup. Yes, I know it is 90 degrees outside, but I have been craving potato soup
Wed: Left over potato soup and grilled cheese
Thurs: Chicken quesadillas and spicy brown rice (onion, red pepper mmm mmm)
Fri: Spaghetti with tomato sauce
Sat: Chicken Stir fry (zucchini, squash, chicken, red pepper, onion, and rice. Pretty basic.)

I have exactly $66 left in the food envelope to get me through the remainder of the month (or eleven days). Eating on such a small budget will require some creativity, but I think I can do it. Here are some of my ideas for budget friendly meals:

Omelets (or eggs ranchero depending on my ability to get the omelet to stay together! ha!) (1 day)
Pasta primavera (2 days)
Baja Pie (I love it so much. I'm sure I'll be ready to eat it again in five days.) (2 days)
Chicken Tortilla Soup (2 days)
Chicken Stir Fry (2 days)

That should get me to the end of the month. Now, I know you're adding up my numbers and thinking "crazy, that does not add up to 11 days." You are so right, but I am going to my brother's house this weekend, so we will be eating out a couple of days. (When we eat out, the money comes from our blow envelope and not our grocery envelope.)

You are more than welcome to eat with me this week! (Maybe not in my kitchen, but you could buy all the ingredients and cook too. Just use any old omelet recipe, make Pioneer Woman's Pasta Primavera, make Betty Crocker's Baja Pie, B C's Chicken Tortilla Soup, and throw together chicken with rice and whatever veggies you have on hand.) But even if you don't make the same meals as I do, I wish you happy eating!

Trip to the Farmer's Market: A Frugal Success!

2010-07-11T08:33:00.001-07:00

Do you see that? Yeah, that's my forearm, and that my friend is a zucchini, just one of the amazing purchases I found at the Farmer's Market on Saturday morning. I spent a frugal $3 and bought enough veggies to last me for two weeks including three jumbo zucchinis, three squash, and a bag of potatoes. I also spent a dollar on some yummy chex mix

I will definitely be shopping at the market again, no questions asked. I couldn't believe the bargains! I think between cooking a whole chicken for four dollars and then three dollars in veggies, I could conceivably cut my grocery budget in half.

In other food related news, I made Baja Pie last night (or as Mr. Wookie and I like to call it "Badger Pie"). I think this is my new favorite recipe. The hubs really likes tacos, but I am not a fan. Tacos don't fill me up. They give me the allusion of being full, and then twenty minutes later I'm scrounging around for a second dinner. Badger Pie is a compromise piece. It has all the flavor of a delicious taco, but it leaves me feeling full like after I eat a Sonic cheeseburger (mmm Sonic).

I found the recipe from Betty Crocker Online, but here it is for you in a simple version:

Heat your oven to 325. In a glass dish, layer four or five tortillas (I used the ones by Mi Casa) and brush with a little melted butter. In a large bowl, mix two cups of cooked chicken (I got mine from the chicken I cooked last week), a can of black beans, a cup of salsa, two tablespoons of taco seasoning, and 1/2 cup of cheddar cheese. Spread the mixture over the tortillas and bake for 25ish minutes or until hot. Then sprinkle some more cheddar on top (about a cup, but I don't really measure...I just sprinkle until my heart is content) and then bake another minute or two until the cheese is melty and delicious. Serve on a plate with a wedge or two of tomato and avocado.

The recipe says it makes six servings, but I must be a heifer because I only got four servings.

Until next time, happy eating!

Money Thoughts and Debt Update

2010-07-06T05:07:00.000-07:00

For those of you that weren't aware, I gave up two beautiful weeks of summer vacation to spend time with a group of rising 9th grade kids via summer school. Was it insane? Yes. I have never needed a day off so bad in my life. My nerves were about shot by the end of summer school; however, the paycheck I received was BANK. I sent over $3600 to the spawn of satan (aka Sallie Mae), and I'm currently owing only $17,333! I can't believe how close I am to paying off this wretched woman.

I did some calculations, and if I send all of my paycheck plus $398 each month, I will be DEBT FREE by the end of December. Unfortunately, I'm having a hard time holding on to cash flow. I thought I was doing so well with my envelope budget that I went back to paying for things with my debit card. Big mistake. I blew my fun budget by hundreds of dollars last month. Ridiculous.

Instead of letting the extra money sit in my checking account until the end of the month, I have started moving superfluous dollars to my savings account. For whatever reason, my savings account is a sacred place. It's like I've forgotten I have that money. For all intensive purposes, the money doesn't exist until I'm in an emergency or it is time to pay off debt. From my husband's paycheck, I was able to set aside $250, and I'm thinking next week I'll be able to set aside another $200 or more. I've also gone back to the envelope cash system and I think I'm finally back on track.

Ok, that's all for today. I didn't mean to write this much! I only wanted to give you an update.

Book # 12 : I am One of You Forver

2010-07-03T05:01:00.000-07:00

Fred Chappell's novel, I Am One of You Forever, is a a book that will stay with you forever. You will laugh and you will cry. The story is about about a young boy, Jess, growing up in the Appalachian mountains. Jess lives with his father, a trickster if there ever was one, his mother, and grandmother. They live on a large farm, where work is plenty. Hoping to get some help, the grandmother sends off to an orphanage for a young man who can help around the farm.

At first, Jess's father and the new man don't get along, but their relationship quickly changes as they find a common bond: trickery and humor. Honestly, I couldn't stop laughing throughout the first few chapters. So much of the story reminded me of my own family, specifically exaggerating situations for the effect of a laugh.

I did warn you earlier the story will also make you cry. An important member of the family dies leaving the remainder of the family to mourn in silence. The most elegant chapter of the book is when Jess describes the grief he feels. He is unable to talk about it with any of his family members, nor are they able to talk about the death with him, yet he recognizes grief is in every corner of the house; it's inescapable, and it affects everyone.

I highly recommend Chappell's novel. At only 185 pages long, you'll find yourself wishing this tender story to continue.

What's on the Menu?

2010-07-02T12:36:00.001-07:00

This week, I've decided to try something new. A frugal challenge if you will. I bought a whole chicken for less than $5, and the bird will be the meat source for all my meals this week. Here's what is on the menu:

Sat and Sun: Roasted chicken with veggies (no special recipe, just lots of butter and herb)
Mon and Tues: Greek Chicken Salad
Wed and Thurs:Baja Pie
Fri and Sat: Calico Chicken and Potatoes Skillet.

To find these recipes, go to www.bettycrocker.com and do a search.

I'll let you know how each one turns out. I also found a good chicken tortilla soup recipe, but it's hot, and I'm not really craving soup right now. I think I'm going to put the recipe in my folder and pull it back out in the fall.

I promise to write more later, but for now I'm heading to Target to find a new bathing suit as my bottoms have stretched to their max and are now sliding off of me. If you have any great chicken recipes, I'd love it if you'd share with me!

Fire On The Mountain! (and no, you don't have to run from it)

2010-06-22T16:26:00.000-07:00

Let me introduce you to my new best friend, Fire on the Mountain, or, in some circles of acquaintance, Mountain Fire. Before this morning, I'd never seen this beauty. How is it then that I now have one achin' to take root in my flower bed? Welp, today I went to teach my summer school hooligans as I have been for the past week. When I walked into the office to make some copies, I noticed this little plant's brother sitting in a plastic bag on the floor. I was instantly enamored. I sought out the plant's owner and asked where I could find my own Mountain Fire.

I drove out to the nursery and knocked on the garage door of the store. From the outside, you couldn't even be sure anybody was working. There were no lights on, and no other vehicles in the parking lot. I timidly walked through the door and found an older couple sitting at a table. I explain that I had been sent by a friend to find a certain plant. He told me they had lots of them and then he graciously offered me a ride on his golf cart. The nursery had hundreds of beautiful plants, and I'm not sure if I liked the plants as much as I liked the sweet owner, but one thing is for sure:I will buy from them again in the future.

I picked out my specimen from about a dozen others and made my long commute home while periodically glancing over my shoulder to make sure my plant was still upright. If you know me, you know I hate a bloomin' bush. Most of them look cruel. They have scratchy briars and are no friend if you have to weed around them. This bush, however, is stunning. Let me show you a close up.

What I love is the variety of color. The new lengths are such a lovely red color, the old parts are a light green (almost lime) color, and the oldest parts are a rich green. The bush will be my last addition to this year's flower bed. Next year, I am planning on expanding the bed in a circle like shape to distract from the hard line of my house. Here are some pictures of my completed flower bed.

I think the shepherd's hooks are just darlin', and I plan to switch out the plants in the fall and winter (I'm thinking about hanging ghosts for Halloween and wreaths for Christmas). I bought these little plants at Walmart because they were on clearance for $3 a piece. I may move them inside and hang ferns on the hooks next summer.

Blue Ridge Parkway

2010-06-21T16:35:00.001-07:00

I am in lust with South West Virginia. No, we don't have a plethora of shopping centers or places to eat, but I've never seen the appeal of owning a lot of stuff. I'm a self-proclaimed frugalista, and I love all the free outdoor activities SWVA has to offer.

Today I took my summer enrichment students on a field trip to the Blue Ridge Parkway. We visited Mabry Mill and the Music Center. I have been to Mabry Mill many times because my dad is a fan of the Sunday drive. Mabry Mill is one of his favorite places to visit. When I was little, I loved to go there because there were ducks around the pond. Luckily, the mill hasn't changed much. The ducks were still around the pond. For those of you who don't know, the mill was a grist mill, and it still runs today (although what you buy there is actually produced in NC now). The park also has a late 1800's cabin on site AND a corn liquor distillery (read: moonshine).

Even though I've been to Mabry Mill twenty times in my life, I'd never been to the Music Center until today. I am in L-O-V-E with the music center. First of all, our ranger was a fantastic speaker. You could tell he is passionate about Old Time music and instruments. I appreciate people with a little passion. Second, the views are spectacular! We sat in rocking chairs on a porch that overlooked the mountains while an Old Time band played. I felt like I had died and gone to heaven.

We also stopped at Groundhog Mtn. for a picnic lunch. Without planning, I ended up completing one of my 25 goals for the year. I hope to get back to the Music Center sometime this summer to hear one of their weekend concerts. If you live in the area, I highly suggest making use of the Blue Ridge Parkway. It really is a gem.

Completed One of my Original 101 Goals

2010-06-14T17:33:00.000-07:00

When I bought my house, the builder had landscaped with bushes and mulched with white decorative rocks. I am not a bush person nor a rock person, so a few months ago my mother in law came over and helped me thin out the rocks and pull out the bushes. All that remained in my front flower garden were three azalea bushes and, of course, a flower bed full of red clay.

Fast forward to this weekend when I decided enough was enough! I was tired of looking at my bare flower beds (and I'm sure my neighbors were tired of looking at them as well), so I weeded them and then took a trip to Lowe's where I finally managed to buy some perennials. Those of you that know me know that I'm pretty indecisive. I've been to Lowe's forty times in the past two months to "browse" the flower selections. I've never planted anything before in my life, and I didn't want to make a mistake. This time, after reading a Southern Living article on choosing plants for you garden, I decided I was going to buy whatever looked pretty to me. I ended up with four Zagreb Coreopsis and two Prairie Splendor Coneflowers. (I will show you a picture of one of my Zagrebs, but the Coneflowers haven't bloomed yet and still kinda look like a weed, so I won't show you a picture of that one just yet!)

This is a picture of my front flower bed. As you can see, I planted the four Zagrebs directly under my front porch because they are supposed to be mounding perennials. Once they fill out, they should curve just under the bottom part of the railing. There is a space of about two feet between the last Zagreb and the first Coneflower. My plan is to put a trellis in that space and get a climbing plant. Next summer, I'm going to curve the flower garden out in front of the three windows to diminish the hard line of the house. I'm also going to put window boxes on the railing to make the porch pop out. (Don't worry, I'll post pictures again when I finish my landscaping project!)

Here is a closeup of my Zagreb. Currently, each plant is about 8 inches tall (I took this picture from the top so you could see all the pretty little yellow flowers).

All in all, I've spent less than $50 so far. The two coneflowers were a little more expensive, but the Zagrebs were about $4 a piece. I also bought a bag of soil and a hand spade. I am going to buy mulch pretty soon because I don't want to be weeding every weekend, so my cost will go up when I make that purchase this weekend.

I didn't think I'd get to this 101 goal before next year, but I'm glad that I did! I enjoy the calming effects of gardening. I just hope my plants live!

365 Days of Bliss

2010-06-09T16:58:00.000-07:00

On Sunday, my husband and I will celebrate our one year anniversary. I cannot believe how quickly this first year went! To celebrate, we are going to our favorite Japanese restaurant one night this weekend, and then I'm also making the special dinner I mentioned below.

As I drove home, I reflected on our first year together and tried to compile a list of qualities I learned about Mr. Wookie in the past 12 months. You see, the hubs and I dated six years before getting married, so I felt like I knew everything about him when we tied the knot. Even though I knew a lot about him, I have certainly learned even more about him this year. For example:

1. He is ridiculously modest. He locks the doors when he uses the bathroom, he is only naked when he showers, and he NEVER sits around in just his boxers. He has to wear a shirt.

2. He doesn't sleep a lot. He needs six hours to my nine. He is always awake before me except on the weekend when he stays up later than me and subsequently sleeps until two in the afternoon.

3. Apparently he thought all dish duty ceased when we got married because he used to do the dishes religiously after dinner. Now, he leaves them sitting for a night or two before getting around to them (which drives this Type A INSANE).

4. He eats nothing but carbs. Since we've been married, I've seen him eat maybe two pieces of fruit. I'm not talking a whole orange either...I'm talking an orange sliver.

But for all these odd little anecdotes, there is one thing I've noticed that has been wonderfully rewarding:

he is 100% supportive of whatever I want to do.

I always knew he was moderately supportive, but he has proved himself to the infinite degree (like following me blindly into this debt free thing). I don't know too many people who would willingly adapt to my constantly changing choices.

This year I learned that we don't have to pretend to like the same things. Since we have opposite schedules, we've actually done a lot apart this year, and I think being apart was good for our marriage. When we both have available time, there is no question that we will spend it together, but when one of us doesn't have time, the schedule allows the other to follow personal interests. I wouldn't have it any other way. I have no desire to play five hours of video juegos no matter how pretty the graphics.

Overall, it's been a good year. I'm looking forward to celebrating this weekend, and I'm looking forward to many more celebrations in the future.

Jobs in 2010-2011

2010-06-07T15:00:00.000-07:00

Let me start by saying I have an amazingly smart group of friends. Pretty much everyone I know shocks me with their intelligence (maybe it's because I'm such an average pants). They're passionate, caring, funny, but I've been watching the FB job related posts, and I can't help but wonder why these people don't have jobs. When the deuce is the job market going to get better? More importantly, how did I land into the lucky mutha' club when there are so many other talented individuals in the same job pool as me?

For any of you out there struggling to find employment, I thought I'd share my job search tips in the hopes that they might help you. Here is what I did to land my current job:

1. I applied to every job in a surrounding one hour radius that had to do with education or with children. So what if my dream job wasn't working the Barnes and Noble children's story hour? Last year, I felt the pressing need to find a job now, now NOW! I think I applied to ten teaching jobs. I literally put an application in at every surrounding school board office.

2. I was friendly, perky even. I let my joy boileth over if you will. I distinctly remember my current boss asking me, "So you want to teach middle school?" to which I replied, "YES! I love middle school" Her response, "Wow. Not many people can say they love middle school." I mean, let's be honest, I would have loved mopping the middle school gym at that point because you know what I love even more than middle school? That's right, A JOB!

3. Which brings me to my next point: be humble. My principal made it very clear that my job might have only been a one year gig. I told her (with a smile on my face) that I completely understood. I explained that I was looking for an opportunity to get my foot in a door, and I didn't care if the job only lasted six months. I explained in my interview that I was from a family of teachers, and I knew how rank worked. I told her I was completely comfortable with taking a position if only for a year.

Part of being humble meant that I take a less than ideal job. I currently drive an hour to work, but I have work that I enjoy (which is apparently better than a lot of people). Instead of complaining, I find an abundance of things to be thankful for like having food.

I believe those three things led to my being hired. Like I said, I'm in the lucky mutha' club. I get to keep my job for another year. Here's why I think the rehired me (and actually stuck their necks out to keep me, but we won't go there today):

1. I show up to work. I give 110% when I'm there because my kids deserve 110%. I say yes to just about any special assignment. I worked after school homework help, I taught Saturday school, I worked town/school partnership festivals, I went on field trips. This summer I'm teaching summer school. I will continue to be friendly and upbeat. I try to take care of my own classroom management problems without bombarding the office with student referrals. I don't watch the clock (although I am counting days until summer break!). Essentially, I want to make it so they can't live without me.

Sadly, the job market is still depressing, and I may only keep my current job for another year, but I've got both my feet in the door. I am constantly searching for other job opportunities just in case the budget really stinks next year. Yes, I may lose my job, but I'm holding on for dear life. If you're looking for a job right now, I wish you speedy employment! Keep your head up; it can't stay this bad forever!

How to celebrate your birthday when you're turning an unimportant age

2010-06-06T06:41:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow is my birthday. To celebrate, I made Pioneer Woman's shrimp pasta recipe this week. My husband, although a little camera shy, very much enjoyed the pasta as did I:

I will tell you that the color of the pasta is a little scary. I mean, when you take bright red sauce and add a cup of cream, the pasta turns pink. There aren't many pink foods in life (in fact, I can't think of one off the top of my head), so my brain wasn't exactly pumped to eat this meal. However, my taste buds were a jivin'. Yummo! I will definitely make this meal again.

Lucky for me (and my husband), our one year anniversary is next weekend, so I'm planning on making a fantastic anniversary dinner! He doesn't actively read my blog, so I'll go ahead and tell you the menu:

*Chicken skewers

*Grilled Asparagus

*Rice

Not especially different or enthralling, BUT dessert will be amazing! I found a recipe for crock pot fondue:

1 and 1/2 cups chocolate chips (any flavor really)

1/2 cup heavy cream

1 tsp vanilla

All you do is put everything into the mini crockpot, cover, and cook for one hour. Then you take the mini lid off and stir. I'm serving mine with pound cake, strawberries, and marshmellows. I'll let you know how that turns out. For now, I'm off to see my dad for lunch before his big trip out west.

Budget Meals for the Week

2010-05-30T08:29:00.000-07:00

This week I am finally going to try a new Pioneer Woman recipe. I love to cook, but lately I've been kind of lazy. We've been eating a lot of hot dogs and chicken nuggets. I mean, you'd think we had kids. Here is my (slightly more adult) menu for this week:

Sun: Pasta Alla Betsy (Pioneer Woman's sister's recipe. Looks delicious! Shrimp, penne, butter. Mmm. Butter.)
Mon: Leftover pasta
Tues: Chef salad with ham
Wed: Leftover chef salad
Thurs: Steak, rice, and veggies
Fri: Leftover steak and veggies
Sat: $1.25 pizza

When I make my chef salad, I usually just cut up a head of iceberg lettuce, a cuke, an onion, a tomato, a package of thin sliced deli meat, and then I sprinkle some cheese on top. If I'm feeling frisky, I'll cut up some broccoli and/or a green pepper. I do another variation of this salad with steak or chicken (or heck, both!).

For my steak, I marinate it in Lawry's Steak and Chop sauce and then grill it on the Forman for five minutes. I typically marinate zucchini, squash, and onion in butter and garlic salt and than cook it on a grill or in a skillet. This is one of my favorite meals because it's super quick to make and it is still delicious.

This week I spent $42 on groceries. I think $42 is reasonable given that I bought some pricier meat. The shrimp was $5 and the steak was $7 for five portions. I'll let you know how the Pioneer Woman recipe turns out.

Windfalls

2010-05-28T15:59:00.001-07:00

A few weeks ago I was watching Suze with the hubs. She was talking about windfalls and what you should do if you find yourself with some extra gifted money. I remember looking at my husband and saying, "man, I wish we'd get a windfall."

Fast forward to this morning. My husband comes home from work and says, "would you like some money?" To which I laugh and say, "it's not your pay week." He then hands me his first ever bonus check. Even after grimmacing over how much Uncle Sam got from our bonus, I was excited because the money will put us back on track for debt payoff since I screwed up the budget earlier in the month.

As I drove to work, I was thinking back to what Suze had said in her segment about windfalls. She asked one caller, "What would make you feel powerful?" As I asked myself this question in the car, the only thing that came to mind was paying off my debt. (I would truly feel powerful is my house was paid in full, but since that will take a good ten years, I think I should stick to my student loan debt.)

I was prepared to discuss and defend my opinion on how the windfall should be spent when I got home from work. I hadn't mentioned Suze to my husband at all, but when I brought up the bonus, my husband shouted "WINDFALL!" He SO gets me. We discussed our options and decided that we will send the majority of the money to debt repayment while saving $16 for my husband to get a haircut (he really is starting to sound and look like a Wookie).

With the bonus check and my previous payments, I managed to send $3340 to Sallie Mae this month leaving me to hover dangerously close to the $20,000 mark. In just a short month, I will owe under $20k. I thought it would take me years to get to this point, and now I will get to see it in thirty days. Bring. It. On.

Money Successes and Failures For the Month of May

2010-05-27T15:32:00.000-07:00

I get paid tomorrow which is a good thing because we have been bleeding money again this month. The problem with this month was my budgeting to zero methodology. My husband gets paid every two weeks. With the first check of the month, I pay all our minor bills like cable, electric, interwebs, etc. With the second check of the month, I pay our mortgage. My check automatically goes to debt repayment.

Spending our checks like this has worked great so far. We've always had extra after each check, and I've been able to send extra to Sallie Mae. Unfortunately (or, actually fortunately), Mr. Wooks and I took a staycation at the beginning of the month. If you didn't know, a staycation is when you take days off of work and hang out at the house. We desperately needed this staycation. We work opposite shifts, and I have seen my husband a total of 30 minutes over the past five weeks. Anyway, he took four days of paid vacation. Now, I know you're asking yourself "well if it was paid vacay, what is the problem?" Well, let me answer that for you. The problem is that my husband only gets paid for eight hours when he takes vacation. When he works, he works 12 hours. Essentially we lost sixteen pay hours while we were watching reruns of Grey's Anatomy.

The first check of the month was big as usual. I paid all of our minor bills and was left with $600. I sent $500 to Sallie Mae and tucked $100 into our checking account in anticipation of a smaller check. I was not anticipating a REALLY small check, and we actually barely squeaked out enough for our mortgage with his second check. Really, this is no big deal because we have my check to fall back on, but we've been living so beautifully on one income that this setback made me feel a bit like a failure.

When I get my check tomorrow, I will take out $100 for gas and groceries next week and send the rest to Sallie Mae. I believe I will still be able to send roughly $2,200 leaving me just over $21,000 in debt. With my summer school pay, I should be debt free by the end of 2010 (literally right after Christmas!)!! I've already started browsing for next summer's vacation because, well, I will be able to afford it. :)

How To Talk Finances

2010-05-22T07:04:00.001-07:00

My dad is getting ready to travel cross country on a motorcycle in two weeks...alone. I'm worried for him. As you now know, my dad is my only living parent. I need him to stick around another thirty years or so, but my dad is retired and he wants to go out and do his thing. I totally get his need to Vita Abundantior (there I go again...), but my dad doesn't have a cell phone, and he's going alone. How am I supposed to know if something happens to him? I think maybe he needs to have my name and number tattooed on his chest just in case he ends up in the hospital.

Thinking about his upcoming trip, I started wondering about my father's financial life. Now, this is depressing as hell. I don't like thinking about my dad dying, but I'm starting to see that his financial health is as important as his actual health. Since my mother is dead, I'm assuming that he has already paid for his plot, but what about his savings? If my dad falls and breaks a hip (God forbid) in ten years, does he have the money and the insurance to cover the expenses?

I know we need to have this conversation because my dad is over 60 years old. He is in good health right now, but my family knows all too well that you can be healthy one day and dead the next. I know he has a will because I came upon it one day when I was hunting for my birth certificate, but it was pretty dated. Has he updated his will? I don't know.

Unfortunately, I don't know how to bring up his financial life. I'm worried my dad will think I'm out to ambulance chase him to the grave or something. If any of you have had the "financial health" conversation with your parent(s), how did you bring it up politely without seeming nosey? Any advice would be appreciated.

I Need to Vita Abundantior!

2010-05-16T06:57:00.001-07:00

Yes, I just made the Latin phrase into a verb.

I am ridiculously uptight. I expect perfection out of my life and from other people. I know it's stupid. I'm trying to work on it. Like this money thing... I took an idea and ran with it. I haven't had much trouble adjusting my shopping habits because I never really bought expensive stuff. I don't own any Coach bags, and the most expensive article of clothing I own is a hand-me-down from Ann Taylor Loft.

Unfortunately, I have had problems adjusting to a stay at home lifestyle. When Mr. Wookie and I were dating, we would go out to eat pretty much every time we saw each other. On a few rare occasions I would cook at home for us "as a treat." Now I'm cooking at home every night and we go out to eat "as a treat." Giving up dining out has been a struggle because we live in a small town. There aren't any free museums to visit. We can go bowling (way out of our budget for now), see a movie (which we do on occasion), and go out to eat.

Having to stay home every weekend is really wearing on me. The hubs and I took some time off this week because we work opposite shifts, and we really haven't had time to connect lately. We both wanted to do something, but we have already blown through our fun money. Needless to say, yesterday was pretty boring.

I could cheat because I have a little cushion in the bank since Mr. Wookie's checks can fluctuate from month to month, but then I would be disappointed with myself, and I don't handle disappointment well.

Honestly, I don't think I could continue to live this frugally if I knew it was going to take longer than a year for me to be debt free. I'm so looking forward to eating out every weekend again. I'm looking forward to going out for drinks on the weekend again. I just can't wait to go on a vacation. I mean, don't get me wrong, I am thankful that the weather has been beautiful the past two months because I've been able to utilize the park, but I want to get dressed up and go out on the town.

Only seven more months like this and then I'm going to VITA ABUNDANTIOR my little heart out.

Visit Maw Maw

2010-05-14T05:19:00.000-07:00

I have a wonderful grandmother. She's 82 years old, and she's absolutely beautiful. She is very religious, but her humor and spirit are still very much alive.

I'm a horrible granddaughter. I mean, I'm blessed to have a grandmother who lives only an hour away, but I can't seem to get to her house on the weekends. So, I decided I would spend the dreaded mother's day with Maw Maw. My dad and I took her out to eat, and I think she really enjoyed herself, and I certainly enjoyed myself. She told me all about the jobs she had when she was working and about how things used to be.

After spending the day with her, I have to say I have a new appreciation for her strength. She is fiercely independent and was even when being an independent woman was still unpopular. I hope I'm supporting myself when I'm 80.

Now if I could only find the time to go visit my brother.

Creative Dining/Clean Out The Pantry

2010-05-13T16:16:00.001-07:00

Let me just start off by saying that my grocery budget has been shot for the month. Unfortunately, I had to buy laundry detergent and paper towels last week. If you are the primary shopper for your family, you know that these two things can easily total $20 by themselves. Now, I know that I only have to buy these items once every five or six months, but I still cringe when I get to the last paper towel because I know that I'm going to have to pinch pennies some other way.

I've been getting by on $100/two weeks at the grocery store for the past five months. Sadly, this will not be the case for the first two weeks in May. I spent $83 last week at the grocery store leaving me with $17. I anticipated this purchase and put back a little extra for this week's grocery trip, so I have $40 for groceries. Now, I know that I've posted on here that I've been able to buy groceries for $30, but that was when I had meat in the freezer. My freezer is currently pretty bare. I've got a little hamburger and three pieces of chicken, but I'm determined to make this work!

Here's my menu for next week:
Sat: Chef Salad. (I have half a head of lettuce, onions, and some sandwich meat. I'm going to buy a cuke, a tomato, and a bag of shredded cheese)
Sun: Quesadilla with chicken (I have the tortillas and the chicken, so I'm going to use the remainder of the shredded salad cheese for my quesadillas. I'm also going to buy some rice and a can of corn.)
Mon: Grilled cheese and soup (I've got the cheese, the soup, and the bread)
Tues: Burgers (I have the hamburger. I need buns. I also have some broccoli left over and some french fries in the freezer.)
Wed: Burger leftovers
Thurs: Pizza (which I'm going to buy for $2.)

I will also need to buy some fruit and snack cakes (for our brown bag lunches) and some microwavable pancakes for breakfast.

and then of course Friday is pay day, so I can go shopping again before dinner Friday night.

Now, I know that grocery shopping may seem boring, but I enjoy competition. Did you know that I ran track back in the day? Yup. I'm into beating my personal bests, and folks, I've got to tell you, I think I can beat my personal best at the grocery store this week. I mean, we may not be eating fancy food, but it'll eat.

Happy Mother's Day

2010-05-09T04:44:00.001-07:00

I have to be honest: I hate Mother's Day. I usually become aware of it about a week ahead of time. Either CVS has a reminder posted on their electronic billboard or someone mentions it on the radio. Once the day is mentioned, it's all I can think about.

As you may or may not know, my mother died when I was seven. I have buried this loss so deep inside myself that I simply don't think about it 355 days of the year. Nonetheless, there are two days a year that bring me intense emotional pain: Christmas and Mother's Day. There are other days that make me sad as well, like the day after my wedding was extremely painful. I opened up a gift from my Aunt which was a beautiful collage of pictures of my mother. I had to put the frame in a closet, and I do look at it from time to time, but it hurts too much to see her regularly. And then there are days that I am preparing for, like I know having a child without the celebration of my mother there will be hard.

But Mother's Day is probably the most painful day because it is all up in your face all. day. long. The most hurtful part of MD is my lack of knowledge about my mother. I can't tell you what her favorite color was or if she had a favorite flower, and I feel uncomfortable asking someone to answer these questions. I mean, I'm a grown ass woman. What difference is knowing her favorite color going to make in my life? None, except to know that she was real. That she did take breath on this Earth.

But here is to you, Mom. I didn't buy you any flowers because they always blow away, and I don't like thinking of you in the grave because I see you in the sun and in the birds. Know that I'm thinking about you, and I'm thanking you for giving me life.

I Have Exciting News!

2010-05-07T20:18:00.000-07:00

I get to keep my job next year!!!!!

I was teaching my first period class when the principal came down and asked me if I would accept a position for next year. Of course, I said yes. They will approve me on Tuesday at the school board meeting. I'm STOKED.

(Let me apologize for any spelling or typo errors because I've had a few drinks this evening, but I just have to share my good news with you!)

I'll be teaching creative writing, study skills, and financial literacy aka PERSONAL FINANCE!!!!!!!!!! WHAT WHAT!! Who knew my little obsession would become profitable? I was immediately filled with a great sense of gratitude, and I quietly thanked God as I continued teaching my first period root words.

Accepting this position means I will be debt free (minus our house) by December! When I originally got serious about becoming debt free I thought it would take me two to three years to complete. I've surpassed my original goal thanks to my husband's hard work and to the little miracles that have fallen into my lap (for example, the extra hours I pick up after school and then also Saturday school).

That said, if everything goes as planned and we are debt free by December, I will be surprising my husband with a Christmas trip. We will be skipping town and enjoying the hot sun on a beach somewhere. I won't tell you exactly where we are going because as I said I want it to be a surprise, but I can promise you that it will be spectacular! I think after a year of frugal living we deserve to have a little fun.

One Negative Equals Two Positives

2010-05-05T03:33:00.000-07:00

What? That's not mathematically correct.
Well, that may be, but just the same that's how I've been running my life recently. This equation situation is how I'm dealing with negativity in my life. I'm going to share this with you in the hopes that the equation might bring you some peace and happiness too.

Alright, so first we need to put on our positive pants and then we need a scenario. Everyone dressed? Ok, scenario GO!

Yesterday morning I woke up and put on one of my new summer tops (yes, one that I just bought a few weeks ago). It's this lovely bright blue color, and I was excited to wear it because I got a new haircut and it's kinda boyish. The color of the shirt really helps bring out my eyes, so like I said I was excited to wear it.

Anyway, I put on my clothes and go to fix my hair and what do I notice in the mirror? My brand new shirt that I've only worn one other time has holes in it!!!!!! Negative! I uttered a cuss word because that's what I do, and then I stormed around the room a little bit and was angry about how changing was going to make me late to work.

But then I gave over to the positives. I wasn't going to be late because the lovely administration where I work was throwing us a lunch, so I could save time by not packing my own. POSITIVE! (Do you see how this works now?) Then I thought to myself "hey, I've got a body to put clothes on and it's pretty rad and healthy" (yeah, I just said rad). POSITIVE!

So yeah one negative equals two positives. If this doesn't work for you, maybe just remind yourself that one minor inconvenience isn't enough to abandon ship. Out of the 25,000ish days we get to spend on this odd little planet, a few bad mishaps make our time more interesting. I personally believe we're all here to learn a lesson or two. Why not use these negative events to teach yourself something...like HOW TO BE POSITIVE:) .

Money Successes and Failures For the Month of April

2010-05-01T06:40:00.000-07:00

Well, we've made it to the end of another month and for once I've got more money than month left! My net worth actually GREW in April (I mean, only by like $100, but still). So instead of bogging my blog down with my boring April budget, I thought I'd just highlight my money successes and failures. Let's just go ahead and start with the failures so we can get those out of the way.

Failures:
*We spent $355 on a lawn mower, gas can, and warranty. I tried to convince the hubs we didn't need a warranty, but he would not hear it. To appease him, I bought the three year warranty which pretty much guarantees that on the first day of the fourth year we will be cussing a broken lawnmower. I mean, that's just the way a warranty works.

*I got my hair cut and splurged on fancy pants shampoo to the tune of $36. On the plus side, my hair looks pretty and my scalp will be flake free.

*I spent $75 on spring clothes and birthday presents for my husband.
Spending outside of the budget topped over $400 this month.

Now on to the good stuff!

Successes:
*I sent a whopping $15,000 to Sallie Mae this month bringing my total remaining SL balance to just over $24,000. $12,000 came from a tax return and the other $3,000 came from our personal checks. Take that, you money grubbing heifer! It won't be long until you pack up your bags and leave my guest bedroom forever!

*We didn't tap into savings for the $400 of failure stuff AND we sent extra to Sallie Mae meaning somehow we must have made BANK in terms of income this month. I haven't tallied up our total income for April, but I think it's a personal best.

*I frugally made meals this month and I still have groceries left over meaning May's grocery bill will be small.

*We gave charitably this month. Giving charitably is something I want to start doing more often.

Down with the Naysayers!

2010-04-19T16:59:00.001-07:00

I have never been afraid of a little hard work. Even when I wake a young tyke, I would push around my bubble mower for hours just workin' up a sweat (that's little me in the picture!). There was a period of time when I was a little lazy (circa middle school/high school), but when I got into college, my attitude on life totally changed, and I got busy.

Since I've been out of college, my work ethic has gotten even stronger. I'm constantly looking for ways at work to earn a few extra dollars, and even though I teach full time, I've been looking for a part time job on the weekends. Why? Because I have an evil "friend" named Sallie Mae. I want this heifer out of my life.

There are people out there in the world who are lazy. They say they "can't" pay off their debt. It's not that they can't; it's that they won't. If you roll up your sleeves and work hard, you can do anything. And maybe my philosophy sounds a little like pulling oneself up by his/her own bootstraps (o.m.g. imagine that!), but if you don't decide to take control of your financial life, who the heck will?

Now, I know times are hard, but when are times ever *not* going to be hard? Oh, that's right, WHEN YOUR FINANCIAL LIFE IS ON AUTO PILOT. You have two choices: kill your debt by karate chopping it each chance you get, or let it hang around, dragging you down for decades.

The latter just sounds depressing. I'm committed to working my buns off to kill Sallie Mae, and then I'm going to sit back and reap the benefits of being debt free. Can you imagine your life without minimum payments? I can. If I decide down the road that I don't like my job, I can quit. I can work minimum wage and stay comfortably afloat. I could follow my dream of writing. See, being debt free gives you choices.

So I say DOWN WITH THE NAYSAYERS! You can do this!

Ask me how much I owe Sallie Mae? Go ahead...ask me.

2010-04-14T16:18:00.001-07:00

My friends, I received one honking tax return. Today, I sent the whole hefty tax return to Sallie Mae (that money grubbin' barefoot, pregnant KY girl). Are you ready for the numbers?

In September, I owed $50,000. Today, just a few seven months later, I owe $27,000. By the end of the month, I'll have that number down to $25,000. Suck on that.

That's right, girls and boys, I have met my payoff goal for 2010. *Cheers all around*

Money plan for the remainder of the year? Continue to apply my whole paycheck to debt payoff. By the end of September, my loan will be down in the low teens (between 10k and 13k).

I realize this may not be a big deal to a lot of people, but I am STOKED. 10k is nothing compared to 50k. God is so good.

Just sittin' around, listenin' to Ram Jam.

2010-04-12T17:13:00.000-07:00

I'm actually sitting around listening to Dave Ramsey's podcast, but I've always wanted to write that as my status update.

Anyway, let me get to the heart of this blog post: I think my husband is getting annoyed by my aggressive debt payoff plan. He's very polite about the whole thing, but I can tell that our tight budget is getting to him. I set our fun money (or as I like to call it "blow" because even though we would never ever ever ever do drugs, I like joking about having a line item in my budget for "blow") at $50/2wks.

And now to reveal what the hubs and I fight about most: fast food.

I am a good cook, and I make dinner most nights. Unfortunately, Mr. Wooks is working nights for the time being, so he is out the door for work before I'm home. He sleeps so late that he feels like he only has time to grab fast food. (I don't understand this thinking at all because, I mean, isn't it just as easy to put some leftovers into the microwave on nuke for two minutes?)

We have a little side bank account that had about $150. I was hoping to use that money for gifts for the next year. I hadn't voiced this to Mr. Wooks because the money hadn't been touched in so long. It was literally growing dust. (Lesson learned: talk about money, even little bits of money.) So I get the banking statement and hubs has spent $80 on fast food in a two week period. WTF mate?! That's a lot of quarter pound cheeseburgers.

So I plead my case: what happens when the $150 is gone? Are you going to put burgers on credit?
His case: I've always eaten a lot of fast food. It's a bad habit. It will take awhile to break. I promise I won't put it on credit.
My case: You might as well eat your own scat because fast food is so bad for you.
His case: I move.
My case: You don't move enough to burn 50,000 a day! I need you to live for a long time!
His case: Silence. Shut down mode. End discussion here.

Rest argument for three days. Come back. Resolution? We've decided to half the $50 each two weeks. Previously, the $50 was sitting in an envelope. I must say that most weeks I spent more than half of the $50 because Mr. Wooks works so much, and I like to meet up with my gal pals when I get lonely and bored. I think splitting the $50 outright will be good for both of us because it'll make us more aware of what we're spending our money on. If we want to go out to the Japanese steak house, we're gonna have to pool our money to go. I think wanting to go out with me on dates will keep him from blowing cash flow on Taco Bell and it will probably keep me from buying things like candles (because I spend my money on stupid stuff).

This week I've been trying to make easy food for him to take to work, and so far he hasn't spent any money on fast food.

Now if we could only karate chop the rest of this debt. . .

It's a Good Day

2010-04-03T06:20:00.000-07:00

I don't know if you're experiencing sun where you are, but the weather is absolutely fantastic where I am. Yesterday I got to sit out in the sun and listen to my ipod, and then I went over to my sister's house and hid eggs with her children.

Today we're going to have an Easter cookout. I've got my SPF 50 ready to go! There's nothing I love more than a hot dog, some pasta salad, and SUN.

It's also a good day because I busted through the $40,000 mark on my Sallie Mae Loan! For whatever reason, getting into the $30,000 range makes me feel lighter. I tell everyone I can see about my debt because it holds me accountable. I think there are some people who think I'm nuts. They're so used to having debt that paying it off must mean that I hit the lottery or something. Not true! We're on a budget. When we spend our allotted money, we don't spend anymore. I cut coupons. We live on half of our income and every extra penny is sent to our debt.

If we can do it, so can other people!

The husband and I were celebrating the other night, and we were talking about what we're going to do once the debt is paid off. We've decided (after maxing out our Roth IRA and saving up 6 months of expenses) we're going to take a trip to Hawaii. We've got the place picked out and everything! Then I can spend a WHOLE SEVEN DAYS IN THE SUN. yessss.

Money Buckets of Oats

2010-03-25T15:18:00.001-07:00

I have decided that I am going to go ahead and pay off my second student loan using the money we have in savings. If I don't pay off this Perkins loan before April 1, I will be charged interest AND a finance fee ($1000...ew). Paying off this loan won't leave much left in savings, but I will be able to put most of the money back once I get paid next week.

I will feel much better know I only have one payment to make each month. The three loans together cost me almost $500 a month, but now I'll only *have* to pay $344. I can easily make that. Don't get me wrong: we are in no way, shape, or form slowing down on our debt snowball; however, having only one payment makes me feel so much lighter.

Also, paying off the Perkins loan will put me over my halfway mark (exactly $11,500/$20,000) for the year.

All of that in only three months. When I started getting serious about my debt in January, I was convinced it would take me four years to pay off $50,000, but after three months, I'm already 1/5th of the way there!

My money goals for the next two months:
1. Get my savings back up to two months living expenses (should be easy peasy)
2. Continue debt snowball

We should be getting back our tax return in the next month or so, and once we do, I'm going to open an ING savings account with the 1% interest. 1% Certainly beats my .35% .

Book # 7 : The Help

2010-03-23T16:03:00.000-07:00

While everyone else has been up in arms over the health care debate, I've had my head stuck in a fantastic book called The Help.

Run. Run as fast as you can to the nearest book store and BUY. THIS. BOOK. In fact, buy two copies. Give one to a friend or neighbor.

I was immediately swept up into the world of these ladies. I thought the characters were more than well rounded: I felt like I was in the room with them, like I was a confidant they called during the night to share secrets.

Seriously though, I don't want to tell you much about the plot because I think you just need to read it for yourself. I know this is a book that will stay with me for weeks, months, even years.

Let's hope this new author writes a second book and soon!

Paid off my first student loan!!!!!!!

2010-03-22T03:21:00.001-07:00

Yes, yes I did. $7500 on two and a half months bringing in about $5000 a month. We killed that sunnofabiotch.
I'd like to thank:
My husband who has made many sacrifices to help me pay this monster off
Coupon.com for helping me save a few dollars on stuff I buy regularly anyway
Cash because credit just makes it too easy to buy stuff
Money Matters for keeping me focused
G.O.D.
My creative imagination for imagining that each payment is chopping a video game monster (rpg style)
Dave Ramsey who taught me the snowball method

Now, I only have one more small loan to pay off and then I can tackle the mega monster known as Sallie Mae.

To celebrate, the husband and I ordered Papa Johns. I hope to stand before you at the end of April and say "I paid off my second student loan!" No debt will be camping out in my extra bedroom.

I bought a new shirt!

2010-03-21T08:19:00.000-07:00

I'm excited. It's a short sleeved floral blouse that I can wear to work and at home. I've been wearing sweater sets to work, and the air hasn't been turned on yet, so I pretty much sweat it out everyday at the front of the class.

Unfortunately, I felt a little guilty for my purchase when I got home yesterday. Number one, the shirt wasn't on sale, and as someone who has started clipping coupons, buying a non-sale item made my eye twitch a little. Number two, I found myself having a mental pep talk as I used to do when I had a shopping problem. Here were the voices in my head:
"You deserve this!"
"You haven't bought clothes in almost 7+ months"
"You can't sweat to death in sweater sets!"

Oh yes, the voices in my head were in over drive. Then there was another little voice in the background:

"The debt is yours."
"Your husband has been living on your frugal budget. Is it really fair for you to continue spending when he so willingly gives to the debt repayment?"

And so, I came home and discussed my guilt with the hubs. In good husband fashion, he told me I shouldn't feel guilty. I asked if he ever felt bitter about having to live tightly. He said no because he hasn't ever felt the need to buy a lot of stuff. He did say that when he wants to buy something, he feels like he should be able to do it because he wants for so little. I agree with him.

So I told him that I wanted to give him the whole of next week's fun money. He told me he didn't want anything, but I know that he likes to get his lunch at Taco Bell when he's not working, and I want him to be able to do that.

I think I wouldn't feel as guilty about buying the shirt if I had a line for clothing in my budget, but I don't want to make a line item for clothing because we so rarely buy clothing. I also don't do a line item for gifts because gifts come from our fun money as well. I'm sure some people will say that not having these items included in the budget is a serious flaw, but this works for us most months. I guess I'm just feeling especially guilty about being the debt holder. Poor Mr. Wookie didn't incur the debt. I did.

House Projects

2010-03-19T18:29:00.000-07:00

The hubs and I have been living in our house for about seven months now, and I have to say that we love it. It's only two years old, so there isn't much that has to be updated. Now, they did put some cheaper flooring down in the bathroom and kitchen, but I can live with it for the time being. Honestly, the flooring doesn't bother me.

That said, we do have some updating that we want to do. Here was the list at the start of the new year:

1. Build a shed
2. Buy a lawn mower
3. Expand the deck
4. Get a new kitchen faucet (I found one at the Restore the other day for $25... I'm not buying one right now, but it's good to know I can get a deal when I'm ready)
5. Expand the flower beds
6. Cut the pipes in the front yard

When we first moved in, we painted the living room, the kitchen, hallway, and the guest bathroom. I still need to get one more bucket of paint to go over the living room/kitchen/hallway trim. For now, the paint looks fine, and I'm living in the house, so if it doesn't bother me, why should I care if there is a smidgen of white paint next to the ceiling? Exactly. I shouldn't.

Well, just last week we finishing building our shed. (I say we when really I mean my fantastical father-in-law and my hubs, although FIL did 3/4th of the work). I'm so impressed with the way the building turned out. It matches the house perfectly. (I will post some pictures later.)

Now we're on to the lawn mower, and in typical frugal fashion I've got my sister's husband hunting a used mower for us. The project I'm most excited about, though, is expanding the deck. I lurve spending the afternoon outside when I get home from work. It's probably one of my favorite things to do, and on the weekends I find myself sitting on the deck as well. I cannot wait for the deck to be double the size so I can invite people over the hang out with me. Right now there is barely room for me and the hubs.

Now, we aren't conquering that whole list this year. We probably won't touch the flower beds for awhile because I know from experience that gardening can get hella expensive if done right. But every little improvement we do to the house makes me love it even more. It's our little joyful labor of love, and I'm proud to share it with Mr. Wookie.

All Mine, Head to Toe, Come on Come on Whistle Blow!

2010-03-17T16:24:00.001-07:00

Mr. Wookie works off of five days tonight! Yesssss! (I has husband? I has him alllllllll weekend?!)

Sorry, I was a little excited.

Besides sitting in anticipation, I've been doing "research" on where to send my poetry. I feel like I'm giving up my "baby" for adoption. These poems need to go to a good home. A safe home. A place where they will be read and mulled over.

But I've been contemplating my placement for months. Literally months. And I've come to the conclusion that I've just got to do it. Just send them out. Everywhere. I'm not gonna stop until I get a bite. What's the worst that can happen? I can be refused. Big doody. I've been rejected before. It's not the first time, and it certainly won't be the last. (I mean, what can be worse than having your first boyfriend trample all over your heart in the third grade? That's right. NOTHING.)

I'm gonna do it. Tonight. I'm gonna mail some poetry. I'll keep you updated. Here's hoping.

Am I Even Married?

2010-03-16T03:26:00.000-07:00

I ask this because I haven't seen the hubs in weeks. Somehow the month of March has filled up, and I have zero free time. Also, the hubs is working nights, so that makes our scheduling even more difficult. Luckily, we have nothing planned for Sunday, so I guess we'll reserve that day to spend together.

I swear, some days I question if I'm even married. I mean, I sit in the kitchen and have dinner for one. I sleep by myself. I don't argue over the remote with anyone. Being alone all the time gives me the sad face.

Luckily, the school year is nearing its end, and before long I'll have every day off to pamper my husband and vice versa. In the meantime, I'm trying to fill up my time with things I enjoy. For example, I'm starting a literary magazine with my middle schoolers. My 6th graders must like me because 30 some of them raised their hands in interest. I'm also running again. I ran on Sunday, and I'm hoping to run again tonight. and of course I'm reading. My work book club is reading The Yada Yada Prayer Group; my friend book club is reading The Help.

So I'll try to pass the time with happy events and live on post it note love.

I did it again!

2010-03-14T09:57:00.001-07:00

I broke last week's grocery record. New record: $32.82. Here's what I got:

Bagels
Bread
Debbie Cakes
Bag of Green Giant Broc. and cheese
Bertolli Lemon Shrimp Frozen Skillet dinner
Salad (I have carrots at home already)
Bag of apples
Cuke
Milk
Whippin' cream
OJ
Fettuccine
Shredded Parmesan
Yogurt
Butter
English Muffins
Body wash

I saved $2.65 with coupons. I didn't need to buy any laundry detergent or toilet paper. I also didn't need to buy any meat because I still have some in the freezer. Here is dinner for the week:

Tonight and Monday: Fettuccine Alfredo with a side salad and rolls (meat free meal of the week)
Tuesday: Grilled Chicken Salad and Rolls
Wednesday: Hamburgers, broccoli, and green beans
Thursday: Bertolli Dinner
Friday: Breaded chicken cutlets, cheesy potatoes, green beans

You may be curious about my breakfast and lunch habits. For breakfast, I eat something quick. Either poptarts, cereal, toaster strudels...something like that. I'm trying to eat healthier, so I'm doing English Muffins, peanut butter, and apple + juice for breakfast this week. Mr. Wookie always eats a blueberry bagel. For lunch, I eat a turkey and cheese sandwich, yogurt, piece of fruit, and a bag of chips or a pudding pack. I try to have a glass of milk with at least one of my meals in an effort to get my calcium. The yogurt also helps me meet my calcium goals. (The Dr. told me last week that women should be getting a lot more calcium than they think, so I've been trying to get more calcium into my diet.)

I'll be able to send an extra $30 to my debt at the end of the month because I only spent half of my grocery budget this week. Hip hip hurray! April's grocery budget will be difficult because I will need to buy toilet paper, paper towels, trash bags, and laundry detergent. I do have some coupons to assist with these purchases, but they always make my bill go over $60. I'm going to try my darndest to stop it from happening!

Spring is My Lover

2010-03-14T06:14:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I went with my in laws to visit my sister-in-law in North Carolina. While everyone back home was dealing with yucky rain, we got to spend a beautiful day sitting outside of a hip little bar/restaurant. I had such a blast strolling around the streets and, of course, playing cards.

Last night the time changed, and although I feel like a truck has rolled on top of me, I woke up STOKED to see the sun blaring into my window at 8:47 am. For awhile there, I was convinced the sun had forsaken us. For a good three months, the sun packed her bags and gave a metaphorical "F you" in the form of dark skies and snow. But one of us must have bought her a makeup gift, because she is out and bright today!

Here's my game plan for this lovely Sunday afternoon:

1. Walk, walk, and walk!

2. Hit up the grocery store with my $40 (the hubs got paid Friday but the blooming office people decided they would all peace out before 5 o'clock. Thanks, thanks a lot.)

3. Put the bike, Christmas tree, and storage containers up in our brand new shed

4. Spend some time reading on the back porch

5. Have a nice dinner/spend some time with the husband before he goes to work tonight

Wherever you are and whatever you're doing today, I hope you get to enjoy a beautiful spring day too!

I Want to Adopt.

2010-03-12T03:38:00.001-08:00

Yes, I'm talking about a child.

Not today, or next year, or the year after that, but sometime in the future. Let me give you the story:

I'm at work helping a student make up some missing assignments. The student is talking to me and telling me about her home life. Like most of the kids I teach, her home life is pretty sad.

and then she tells me she doesn't own a book.

Rivers of tears (literally, rivers) ran down my face as I drove home.

This may seem stupid, but books have been my bff for years. My parents read to me all the time. Has anyone read to her besides her teachers? Broke my heart.

Now, my sister has five kids, and I love them dearly, and I'm glad she has them. I give you the thumbs up if you want biological children, but for me and my life, I feel like adoption might be the way. I watch sad little kids come in and out of my classroom, and I can't justify having a child when there are so many kids out there who need love and a home.

I've really only started thinking about this in the past week, and I don't know if I would have thought about it if I wasn't teaching. Kids today have so much sadness in their lives. Even the ones we consider "good kids" are going through tough times. Their parents are getting divorced, their parent has died and they're living with grandma, their parent is in jail and they're being raised by their older sibling, or worse, they're raising themselves.

I get so angry at people who don't take parenthood seriously. Like, for example, the poor toddler who had been taken away from his mother. He weighed 8 pounds at 1 year. 8 pounds. Pitiful. (How can you choose not to feed your child? Seriously. People would bend over backwards to help you feed a baby.) What happens? The state removes the poor thing from the house, puts him in foster care, he gains weight, and then they put him back with his biological mother. In the meantime, she hasn't learned her lesson, and now the poor young baby was found dead in a dumpster. What is wrong with people? If you cannot commit to caring for a precious little soul, then you need to hand him over to the state.

At the risk of sounding like my grandmother, kids today don't have any morals. They're raised by electronic devices. They don't know how to have a face to face conversation with anyone.

Can I adopt a whole generation of sad little kids? No. But I look at adoption the same way I look at teaching: if I can save one. If I can just save one, then it will all be worth it because that one will go into the world with his/her soul burning bright.

I brought up adoption with my husband while we were walking at the park the other day. We didn't get to talk about it in depth because the park was packed, and I felt this was more of a private conversation. I did tell him some of my reasons, and he was very supportive. He agreed with me wholeheartedly. I know adopting in the states can be very time consuming and difficult, but I'm hoping everything will work out if I start doing my research now.

I horde my writing and pennies in the same jar.

2010-03-10T16:53:00.001-08:00

I have a confession: since I've been accepted to an MFA program, I've written 0 poems. 0. Not even a measly line. I have thoughts of poems. Sometimes I plan them out in my head and subsequently forget about them. For example, I know there is a poem brewing in my head about how I've had to be my own cheerleader. No one gets excited for me the way a mom would. Sometimes I ache to call my mom and have her be so excited about my life that she wets herself. Too much info? Probably. I guess my point is that I've had to be my own motivation. I'm not giving my mama bragging rights.

Anyway, the poem is there. It has drifted in and out of my head like breath. Sometimes the poem comes to me in prom images such as calling my former babysitter to come over just so someone could experience this "important" moment with me. or graduation images... or other mom/daughter moments. For example, standing in line at Wal-mart with a mom and her daughter. Daughter is my age. Mom goes on and on about daughter's accomplishments. I listen politely. How can I list my accomplishments and not be seen as self-centered?

How can I write and not be self-centered? Dealing with loss is what I know. I don't want to wallow around in the loss of my mother for twenty more years, but my writing thrives on my own emotional evaluation. and I don't want to keep opening up wounds in my family either (more on this later).

The best case scenario: at the risk of seeming self-centered, my writing helps someone grieve their own loss.

I turn the muddled poem around in my head again, knowing that eventually it will surface on the page, and one day I will feel confident enough to send it to a lit mag. In the meantime, I will horde my finished poems, rereading them ever so often to keep them alive.

The only thing worse than smug singles are lots of smug singles

2010-03-07T14:31:00.000-08:00

Ok, I know when Bridget Jones said the line she actually said "smug married couples," but lately I've been experiencing a surplus of smug singles. In the past week, two people on FB have made comments about how boring some of their married friends have become. Most likely, these people were not talking about me. They were probably talking about some married people who had decided to cancel plans. But my life has slowed down considerably in the past six months due to my employment and my massive debt. There isn't room in my life for bikini bar hoppin'. Even though the comments were likely not directed at me, I couldn't help but take them personally.

Which brings me to today's topic: why do people feel the need to make negative comments about other people's lives? It's bad enough that some people feel the need to keep up with the Jones', but it's even worse when the Jones' snub their collective nose at your choice to be frugal/stay home/not party during the week.

I mean, it's not like you have to live my life. If you don't like the way I'm living, rejoice in your own life. My decisions should not affect you (unless of course I'm doing something illegal, which I'm not). If you don't like the fact that my posts are seemingly mundane, don't read them. (I helped one girl. I deleted her. If you're not going to be supportive of my major life change (ie living debt free) then I don't have room for you in my life. I'm surrounding myself with positive people.)

Yes, acquaintances, I am not taking a vacation this year. I'm not buying new clothes. I'm not dining out excessively. I'm living within my means. I'd love for you to come over and play cards with me, watch a free movie from the library, or have a cup of coffee, but I'm not forcing you to adapt to my changes. I just need you to understand that I may not be there at your wedding because I can't afford the trip. (I will send you a gift.) I can't go with you on your trip to Rome because I can't pay cash for it at this time. I'm washing my hair with Suave because it's $1.97 at Wal-mart.

I promise that I will get back to traveling and shopping as soon as my debt is paid off. I will likely take a trip to Hawaii to celebrate. I will probably buy a flat screen. But I'm not going to go crazy. I want to try to conceive in five years, so I'm trying to save money for that as well.

I hope there is room for you in my life. I enjoy reading/hearing about your shenanigans. They keep me motivated because I know one day soon I too can have (paid for) adventures!

Until then, I'm going to write my checks and bide my time.

Wahoo! Personal Best at the Grocery Store!

2010-03-06T05:17:00.000-08:00

I'm such a dork, but I want to admit my secret to you:

I make a game out of grocery shopping. The goal? To spend the least amount of money and still eat well for the week.

Last week, I spent $51 at the grocery store. I thought this was a good amount, but this week I blew $51 out the water! I spent $40.08 on groceries for the next week. You're probably thinking all I bought was bread, cheese, and Hamburger Helper. Well you are wrong. Here's a breakdown:

Two Banquet Meals (salisbury streak and turkey... the only boxed dinners I like)
Two boxes of broccoli and cheese
A big box of chocolate pudding
Sandwich meat
Chocolate poptarts
Fudge Rounds
Spaghetti
Milk
Dr. Thunder
4 Campbell Soups
Pack of Chicken tenders
Pears
Bananas
Bag of Potatoes
Bag of Bagels
Sister Shubert Rolls
Bread

This may make me look like a carboholic, but part of the reason I didn't spend as much this week is because I still have some veggies from last week. I have a head of fresh broccoli, a can of corn, and a can of green beans. I also didn't have to buy a lot of meat this week because I still have a lot of frozen hamburger meat.

Meal planning is key to my frugal success. Here is what we're eating this next week:

Tonight: Spaghetti and meat sauce

Sunday: Hamburgers, veggies, and fries

Mon: Leftover Hamburgers

Tues: Banquet turkey, veggies, rolls

Wed: Leftover turkey

Thurs: Chicken dinner, broccoli, rice

Fri: Leftover chicken

Now, I understand some people can't do leftovers. Personally, I don't mind two days of the same food; however, I have a hard time with more than two days of the same food. For example, last week I made veggie soup. We ate it for two days and there was about one bowl of soup leftover. I had to take a break from veggie soup for a day. I eventually ate it, but I had a hard time swallowing it down. (I think I'm paranoid that food refrigerated for more than two days is bad.)

Lesson learned? Make less food when you cook. A lot of recipes make enough for 4-6 people. I've started cutting recipes down so I don't have a ton of leftovers. This helps me make better use of my meat too because we all know that meat is the most expensive part of your grocery bill.

Why I do the Budget (Even Though I'm Not the Best at Math)

2010-03-04T17:40:00.001-08:00

Mr. Wookie is a math whiz.

Yes, he is the one you would assume should do the budget. I mean, sometimes I really have to think hard about my times tables. (Don't judge me. They taught us using repeated addition. I do the best I can with what I've been given.) He does well with budgeting. The whole time we were dating, Mr. Wookie was financially responsible. He's been working full time since he got out of high school. It would make sense for him to pay our bills and budget for us.

Yet I do it. Why? Because I have never had bills before in my life. I split a car payment with my dad for maybe 6 months when I was in college. I had a work study job on campus that was my blow money. If I couldn't pay for something, someone would usually have my back. I lived a charmed life.

Are you ready for my dirty little secret?
I am a spender.
"What!?!?"
Yes. A spender.

The first two months we were married, I was waiting to start my job. The hubs was working, and I was bored out of my mind. So I made frequent trips to Target. Now, Target looks safe and economical from a distance, but it is not my friend! It is a trap! You walk in thinking you'll buy a book, and you walk out with two books, a new coffee pot, a board game, and some lotion. These things aren't expensive by themselves, but you make a Target trip once a week and it adds up.

I finally got serious about my spending when I hooked up with mint.com. Wowzers. There it was in a colorful, bold pie chart: the cold, ugly truth. I was spending more than we were bringing in! Somehow we weren't in the red because we had a tiny bit of slush, but you shouldn't dip into your slush to have things. Slush should be for emergencies.

I decided I needed to take control of the finances. I needed to be made aware of the cash flow in and out of my house (especially since we wanted to buy a house). Now, instead of shopping, I write checks toward our bills. The weird thing is that I feel a sense of peace and happiness when I do this. God never wanted us to be slaves. Debt is slavery. I am freeing myself from the slavery of debt and money because when everything is paid for you are working for yourself and not for the man.

I also do the budget because I am seriously goal oriented (as you can tell by this blog). My husband is such a little happy duck. He rolls with the punches. I like to prepare for the punches. He's not really interested in playing around with retirement accounts. I mean, he invests in his 401k, and in his head the 401k is probably enough. I've done the research though (because that's my strength), and when I share my research with him, he usually agrees. He knows I'm good at researching. He trusts my judgement.

Plus, the husband has started doing the vacuuming as a trade off. I think this is more than fair. :)

Finished Book # 7

2010-03-04T17:17:00.000-08:00

I finished reading Honk and Holler Opening Soon about ten minutes ago. A thumb and a half up.

Now, I don't know what you've read by Billie Letts, but I have to say I enjoyed Where the Heart Is just a little bit more than this book. I found the characters in WTHI to be a little more believable. I guess I'm naive, or maybe I just don't know that many homeless people, but my gosh! A flock of homeless people drift into this poor Caney's life. I mean, the man is in a wheelchair, running a restaurant, dealing with his Vietnam depression and he's supposed to take care of all these drifters? Unbelievable.

However, maybe the message of the novel is that the good ol' USofA is still a country of drifting, no-home nobodies. The one bond all these characters have in common is their lack of family. I mean Vena has no one except for a three legged dog. Ms. Ho (ha!) has a dead husband and a vagrant for a daughter, and poor lovable Bui has a wife that is continents away. Getting bogged down in their own troubles could be easy for these characters. Instead, they choose to meld together a makeshift family. They're of different races, different cultures, different religions, but they manage to put aside those differences for the good of the soul (because let me tell you, family is what it is all about).

You don't have to be with your biological family to be complete. I've always believed (and maybe because my mom died when I was young) that friends are the family you get to choose. If you fill your life with people who care about you and who love you, then you've made a family even if you don't share the same parents or crazy aunt.

Read this book.

Last day of our February Month Eat-In

2010-02-28T07:30:00.000-08:00

We did it! We went a whole month without eating out. Sure, maybe we cheated by picking the shortest month of the year, but I still feel like I accomplished something. I mean, we had to give up our typical Valentine's Day meal at our favorite Japanese restaurant which is a sacrifice in itself.

Our last meal of the month? Salisbury steak, mashed potatoes, and corn.

I've also started clipping coupons. I've never done this before because I don't get a Sunday paper, but I've started using coupons.com. I also found a coupon on my Banquet Salisbury Steak box. Yippee. I wonder how much money I can save using coupons. I've been buying Wal-mart brand everything (except for bread because their bread isn't very good), and I'm curious to see if I can save more money buying brand names with coupons or if Wal-Mart brand is the cheapest way to go.

This week I spent $51 at the store. I saved $3.00 with my coupons (I was able to get $2.50 off my makeup purchase and $.55 off my Toaster Strudel purchase). In the past, I've been around $60. I think cooking this whole month has made me more aware of produce waste. I don't buy as much produce as I used to. I planned out all my meals this month, and I only bought what I needed for those meals. In the past, I would buy extra veggies just to have options, but I've found more things go to waste that way.

Tomorrow the husband and I are going to grab some lunch out to celebrate. I have a coupon for 10% off a pizza at one of our favorite local pizza places. Huzzah huzzah.

Quick Debt Update

2010-02-26T16:44:00.001-08:00

As I mentioned in my last post, I sent off $2697 to nelnet in January. Tomorrow I'm sending a little over $2900 to student loan debt. Grand total to date: $5600.47 in two months. I wrote last night that I wanted to send $3000 this month, and I'm confident that we'll come up with that other $100 in two weeks when the hubs gets paid again.

Also, I've decided to go ahead and pay off the Perkins loan. It's only $4000, and I don't want to drag it out for five years. Plus, I'm not totally certain I'll find myself teaching in five years. Who knows?

Money, Money, Money. Ain't it funny? In a rich man's world.

2010-02-23T17:12:00.000-08:00

Yes, singing about money is only fun when Abba does it.

We're at the end of February, and Friday the hubs and I will get paid. We've done a fantastic job staying on budget this month, and we're going to be able to send extra cash flow to my debt. Here's a breakdown of our expenses this month:

Mortgage: $970
Heat: $248 (down from $300 last month, and I'm hoping it will be down again this month since we've cut the thermostat back to 68)
Water: $50
Groceries: $200
Fun money: $95 (twenty of this was for a shovel and the rest we spent on Valentine's Day gifts)
Gas: $200 (sucky commute...and I even drive a car that gets excellent gas mileage)
Dish: $30
Cell: $112
Total Expenses: Just over $1900

On top of our monthly expenses, we also managed to send $2697 to debt and pay cash for our almost finished shed.

For March, I believe we're on track to send $3000 to debt payoff provided we can continue to reign in the spending. I have to be honest: this is the first time in five months that I've kept to my spending budget. Before I started budgeting to zero a la Dave Ramsey, I knew we were paying our bills, and I knew there was plenty of slush. I would "budget," but I wasn't making my money work for me. I was estimating, not budgeting. Now I gather all our bills, I plug them all into excel, and I fill out the fun money portion last. $50 every two weeks seems to suffice for our house. Any less than that and I start to feel deprived which tends to lead to a shopping binge and then subsequent purge.

For March, I want to go out to eat with my husband once. I'd also like to buy some exercise equipment. Instead of paying for a gym membership, I'm going to invest in one of those big round balls and a stretchy band. I've taken Yoga and Pilates before, and I know how to use the equipment. I just don't see any sense in paying for a service that I can do myself (except cutting hair because even though I can cut my own hair, I can't do it well).

In addition to reigning in spending, I picked up some extra work this week. I'm teaching Saturday school this weekend. Also, a fellow teacher had to step down from afternoon tutoring due to a spring sport, so I stepped up to take his place. The money is good, and I really enjoy helping the students who come. It's made me realize how much I truly love working one on one with kids. I feel like I have a better influence over a group of 5-8 students than a group of 25. Teaching a group of 25 is largely about crowd control. With 5-8 students, I get to know them and what they need, and they get to know and trust me. Anyway, I believe I will be doing the work until the end of the school year, so that will help me get my debt snowball rolling a little faster.

Eating in for a whole month probably helped more than anything. In addition to eating in, I also "ate down my cabinets." If you opened up my fridge, you would think I'm starving myself and my husband, but truly all I'm doing is meal planning before I go shopping. This has been beneficial for two reasons. One, I'm not tempted to buy things that aren't on the list. Two, I have less produce waste.

For March, I'm going to continue eating in. As I said earlier, the husband and I will probably go out to eat once or twice, but I really enjoy cooking. I find that as soon as I get home I want to fire up the stove. Cooking is a great stress reliever for me.

I guess that's all for tonight. Night night.

Fitness

2010-02-16T15:37:00.000-08:00

I know I said I was going to skip a day yesterday, but I got so bored that I ended up working out anyway. Can I just say "Um YOUCH!" My calves are on fire. Apparently I was walking funny today because one of my students said, "Are you ok Mrs. ____? Did you sprain your leg?" Embarrassing.

The pain isn't necessarily a bad pain, it's just a serious ache. I guess I haven't used my legs lately. Even though I'm a healthy weight (on the low end actually), I am ridiculously out of shape. I used to run all the time, and I used to go to the gym. Just last year I was spending an hour at the gym 4-5 times a week. What. Happened. To. Me?!

I guess the only thing that changed it that 1. I started my first full time job and 2. we're paying off our debt, so I don't want to pay for a gym membership. (oh and 3, it's been frigid this winter, so I can't get motivated to go outside.)

Fitness plan for the remainder of the week looks like this:
Tues: Night off
Wed: Work out
Thurs: Night off
Fri: Work out
Sat: Work out
Sun: Night off

That should give my muscles enough time to relax. I looked at the weather report for this week, and it looks like the next few days are going to be unseasonably cold, but the forecast calls for highs in the 40's this weekend. Maybe I'll do a walk around the park. I can handle 40 degrees if the wind isn't blowing, but the wind has been on a rampage the past two weeks.

Fitness Update

2010-02-15T08:16:00.001-08:00

My goal to walk at least 12 times per month has not been going so well. The main reason is because the weather here has been sucktastic for about a month. We've had ridiculous amounts of snow, and the wind has been very strong making the air feel even colder than it is. I just can't get motivated to go outside when I know that it's ten degrees out. Sorry. I just can't.

I decided yesterday after watching three hours of t.v. that I have to find some way to get active. I did a google search of ways to be active indoors, and saw two suggestions that were of interest to me. One of the suggestions was jump roping and the other was step climbing. Currently I do not have a jump rope (although I'm seriously thinking of investing one), so I decided to do twenty minutes of step yesterday.

Conundrum. I have no steps in my house.

So I searched from room to room looking for something that could serve as my step. Finally, I came upon our fire safe box. It's about five inches tall, and it's super sturdy. (I mean hello! It's fire safe.) I turned on my DVRed Rachel Ray episodes and got stepping! Twenty minutes later, I was a sweaty mess, but I was proud because I had met my goal. (I also did some sit ups and stretches.)

Today my calves hurt, but I think I'll continue to step when it's too cold to get outside. I'm going to take today off because I think my poor little calves need to rest, but tomorrow I'm going to do another twenty minute workout.

Week Three of the February Eat-In

2010-02-14T05:10:00.000-08:00

My DH broke the February Eat-In. He bought a pizza at Little Caesar's (which is horrible pizza anyway) one day when I was at work. I should probably be mad at him, but eating in for a whole month wasn't his goal. Eating in was my goal. Plus he paid for it out of his own money, so I can't be mad at him for dipping into non-existent funds either.

The menu for this week looks like this (and no, we usually aren't such carboholics!):
Sunday: Chicken Parm leftovers with spaghetti
Mon: Hamburgers, fries, and veggies
Tues: Leftover hamburgers
Wed: Pizza and salad
Thur: Shrimp Pasta and salad
Fri: Hot dogs, fries, and veggies
Sat: Chicken sammies

See what I mean? It's a carb heavy week, but when I was planning my grocery shopping I saw I had all of this stuff already in my freezer (minus the salad and veggies), so I decided I would eat the cabinets down this week so to speak.

I had a Moment Yesterday

2010-02-09T05:47:00.001-08:00

As you know, I'm currently involved in a "month eat it" at my house. I have planned out my meals for the next two weeks; however, yesterday I forgot about our plan to eat in for the month, and we almost slipped and went out to eat!

Every two weeks, the hubs and I allot $50 for fun money. We've done a really good job with our fun money the past two weeks (only buying a shovel (not fun) and on the last day of Jan. we bought a pizza). Right now we have $14 left over in our fun money envelope. The husband and I were at home, enjoying another boring day in front of the boob tube when I said, "man, I'd love to get out of this house." The hubs agreed, and so we started discussing what we could do. Finally, the hubs suggested a trip to Panera, one of my favorites, and I quickly agreed.

I was just about to put on my shoes when I realized we are still in our "month eat in" phase. I yelled "no!!! We can't go!" and instead we made dinner here. We stopped ourselves from messing up our goal, but it was a close one.

I think this almost slip up taught me a lesson though. Typically the husband and I don't take the time to pause when we want something. Honestly, we didn't need to consider going out since we both decided we wanted to buy small gifts for Valentine's day. Our $14 is needed for gift buying this month. I need to be better at thinking through my purchases, even when it comes to fun money. Sure, my goal is to "eat in for a whole month," but I also have a goal that is bigger than just a month of homemade meals. I want to be wise with my money and pay off my debt. If I can slow down before making a purchase and remind myself of "the big goal," then maybe I can stop myself from making regretful purchases.

Girl's Night In is so Budget Friendly (and fun)

2010-02-06T06:36:00.000-08:00

My sister in law is moving sometime this week, so we decided we wanted to have a girl's night before she left. Originally we were going to go out, but the foot of snow put a damper on our plans. Instead of going out, everyone came to my house and we had margaritas and played games.

The great thing about hosting was that everyone kindly offered to bring some food. So really the only expense to me was a pizza (which I already had in the freezer).

I know some people prefer to be out on the town, but I enjoy being a homebody. I don't necessarily enjoy being alone though, so having girl's night at my house was a great compromise for me. If we would have gone to a bar, I would have felt awkward (I'm a married woman after all, and I don't like when sleazy bar guys hit on me) and more importantly I probably would have spent a good $20 on drinks. Instead I only had the cost of the pizza which probably came out to five dollars (but I bought it with my grocery money, so it was kinda like not paying anything! I didn't have to tap my fun money reserves!).

I will say that this is probably the third weekend I've spent at home, and I'll definitely need to get out next weekend. Luckily, Friday is payday so we'll have $50 more fun dollars to spend (the hubs and I budget $50 for fun every two weeks). We're going to buy Valentine's day gifts as well, but we have some money left over in Mr. J's old bank account, so we may tap that to buy two small gifts. In fact, I've been meaning to set up an automatic transfer from our paychecks to his bank account. I was thinking that account could be our fun money/gift account.

So what's on the agenda for the rest of the weekend you ask? Well today I'm probably going to watch a few episodes of House Hunters (provided that they're new episodes) and then when the hubs gets home we'll hang out and maybe play some Mario Kart. He is off tomorrow, so we'll shovel the driveway (again) and maybe watch the superbowl.

Another $150 down in debt!

2010-02-05T12:28:00.000-08:00

I've been working on our new budget this month (we're budgeting down to 0 as Dave Ramsey suggests), and I found $150 that was left over from last month. I went ahead and applied that to my nelnet.com balance.

Ok, I just wanted to briefly update. I've got to get back outside and shovel this damn snow.

Eat in for a Whole Month # 2

2010-02-04T14:53:00.000-08:00

Well we did a whole week eating in which was pretty easy. Tonight I went grocery shopping for the upcoming week, and I'm excited! Here's what on the menu:

1. Shrimp quesadillas (I actually never made these from last week. We ended up having an extra night of left overs)
2. Salisbury steak, mashed potatoes, and green beans
3. Breaded pork and veggies
4. Vegetable beef soup (which I'll probably make tomorrow because we're expecting a big snow storm again!)

Luckily, I didn't have to buy any snack foods this week (except for some Dr. Pepper), so my bill came to $49.90. Last week's bill was $81, but again I had to buy the snack foods. I find that snack foods really make your bill go high, but I only have to buy them once or twice a month. Hubs and I always pack our lunches to work and typically I pack a piece of fruit, a sandwich, and a snack (like a swiss cake roll or a pudding pack). It gets boring eating a sandwich everyday, so sometimes I mix it up and make a pasta salad.

So far I haven't had any desire to go out and eat, but I'm sure I'll get stir crazy eventually.

Only $5000 left on a $7500 loan

2010-02-02T15:08:00.000-08:00

My nelnet.com payment finally went through. I now owe less than I have in savings so theoretically I could take my savings and pay off this loan. The husband doesn't want to do this. Having a sizable savings account makes my husband feel safe (and when I say sizable, I mean three months of living expenses...nothing too fancy here).

Originally I had planned to pay this loan off in six months. I see no reason why I can't pay it off in two. I can't believe that just a month ago I was crying at the kitchen table because I thought I would be in student loan debt hell forever. For some reason, knocking out this $7500 amount makes my Sallie Mae Monster seem a little less scary. Sure, I owe just over $40,000, but I can do this.

The only bad news is that my Perkins loan will come due in May. It's only $4000, and I know I should probably just bite the bullet and pay it back, but I'm hoping that once I get a long term teaching position the school division will pay it back for me. The loan is only $42 a month, and I'm going to defer it as soon as I start graduate school. I just don't really see a point in paying the $4000 back when I can get someone to pay it for me.

If I knock out this loan in March, I could probably pay down my Sallie Mae loan by half come September. I don't want to get too crazy, but it's a possibility.

What do you want out of life?

2010-02-02T04:30:00.000-08:00

I'm reading Women and Money by Suze Orman, and even though I feel like I'm not one of her typical readers (she goes on and on about how women need to stop giving when they have nothing to give. I've learned that lesson. Next!), she asks an important question: what does a "rich" life look like to you?

To me, a rich life means quality relationships. I've never been one of those people with 4,000 acquaintances. We're either friends, or we aren't. I'm friendly to everyone I pass, but unless we have a real connection, I don't have time for you in my life. This has served me well in some ways. Sometimes I will enter a friendship, and it will go well for awhile. Then, at some point, it turns toxic, either by my own doing or by someone elses. Inevitably, I will pull away and cut the person from my life.

Desiring quality relationships has also been hard at times. For example, I've moved back to my home town, but I can't seem to find any friends. I'm probably being too picky, but I don't want to waste my time hanging out with people that I have to "act fake" around. It can be lonely.

So, for me to feel like I have a rich life, I would need to have 3-5 close friends. I had those close friends in college, but we've all moved to different parts of the country. It's not like I can go grab a cup of coffee with one of them on the weekends. Slowly but surely, I'm building up my friend base here. In the meantime, I've been bettering my relationship with my husband. I figure investing time with your spouse can never be a bad thing.

I would also like to be able to give my money freely to those who need it, be it family or friends or complete strangers, without breaking the bank. Mr. J and I were talking about how we'd like to be able to pay for our kid's college in full when the time comes. Of course, we don't have any kids yet, but before we started paying off debt, we imagined that we would only be able to pay for a year or two. Since I've started this debt payoff, I've realized that with some good planning I can provide an education to my kids. I want to be able to donate more than $100 at a time to my college. I'd love to donate a chunk of money to the library. Currently I can't do that, but one day I hope to have the financial freedom to give.

And finally, a rich life to me would be one of travel. I've only been out of the country once, and I desperately want to go to new places. I'd love to visit (in this order) Greece, Ireland, Spain, Australia, and Hawaii (even though technically it's a part of the country). I've watched people around me sit in front of the television their whole lives, which is fine if that's what they like to do, but to me it's such a waste of life. I want to dance, eat exotic food, hike up a mountain.

In the meantime, I'll occupy myself with escapist books and episodes of Teen Mom. But one day in the near future, I'm going to cancel my cable and stop reading about other people's adventures because I'll have the money to have my own soul-searching, life-changing adventure.

Eat in for a whole month

2010-02-01T07:37:00.000-08:00

One of my 101 goals is to eat in for a whole month. This goal serves a few purposes. First, it helps me stay on a budget. Since I'm in debt payoff mode, I can save quite a bit of money by skipping the take out and the steak house. In the past, we've spent about $100 a month eating out. Instead of spending that money on food, I can send an extra $100 to SM. Second, I want to hone my cooking skills. What better way to do this than to cook! Third, I want to try new recipes. If I'm forced to eat in all month, I might as well get a cookbook from the library and try some new things.

So I've decided that I'm going to eat in the whole month of February. I chose February because it's a short month (I know, cheating), but I'm one of those people that has to get out every once and awhile. If I don't, I go crazy. So I'm hoping I can start out with a short month and then maybe I'll be able to sustain the project a little longer.

Last night the hubs and I had a Mardi Gras of sorts. We bought Papa John's pizza and watched t.v. No more Papa Johns or anything else until March 1 which is just a short 28 days away.

Menu for this week:
Potato Soup (typically this makes a lot of soup, so I can probably eat on this for two to three days)
Shrimp Quesadillas (a la Pioneer Woman)
Hamburgers
and Either meat sauce and spaghetti or parmesan chicken and spaghetti.

The potato soup is very easy to make. I actually got the recipe from http://eatathomecooks.com/2008/10/scramble-egg-wiches.html this blog. (Just search Baked Potato Soup)

I'll keep you updated on how it goes. I probably won't have a problem with eating in for a whole month. Poor husband will suffer though because he loves his fast food.

Books I've read so far this year

2010-01-29T18:12:00.001-08:00

1. The Handmaid's Tale
2. Total Money Makeover
3. Her Fearful Symmetry
4. Revolutionary Road
5. Women and Money
6.Push
7. Honk and Holler Opening Soon
8. The Help
9. Behind Rebel Lines
10. Crash
11. Suite Francaise
12. I am One of You Forever
13. Eclipse (re-read before the movie)
14. Breaking Dawn (re-read)
15. What to Expect Before You're Expecting (Don't read too much into this. We're still waiting for awhile, but I want to be on top of my baby making game when the time comes.)
16. The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner (don't judge me. I love Twilight.)
17. The Last Girls
18. Walk Two Moons (reading this with my 6th graders)
19. Eat Pray Love
20. Choosing Gratitude
21. The Christian Atheist
22. Dear John
23. Secrets of the Fire King
24. Harry Potter # 1 (first time read)
25. Harry Potter # 2
26. Angels and Demons
27. Harry Potter # 3
28. Harry Potter # 4
29. Harry Potter # 5
30. Harry Potter #6

$20,000 Debt Pay Down

2010-01-29T18:02:00.001-08:00

My big goal of 2010 is to pay $20,000 toward my student loan debt before Oct. 1 of this year.

Shew! Even the sheer number makes me woozy, but then I log in to salliemae.com, and I'm sickened by the amount of interest that I owe just from this month. How is it possible that I owe almost $200 in interest over a 30 day period? This is cruel and unusual. But I got the debt by going to college, and I am thankful for my education.

So today I made my first payment of 2010. Drum roll please:

I sent in a payment of $2547 which decreases my total goal to $17,453.00.

Go me! In 4 months I can say I paid off one of my college loans (I owe $7500 to the Department of Ed. and I'm paying it off first), and then I can really get started knocking down my Sallie Mae debt.

Here's a true story: every time I send in a payment, I imagine the principle is a giant rpg video game giant. My payment is a giant chop or punch or kick (or all three put together), and slowly but surely I am killing the mega beast! Take that, biotch!

That's all for tonight. Please excuse any spelling or grammar errors in this post. I'm pretty ill, and when I get the ill I get the dumb. Night night!

Goals for 2010

2010-01-24T07:39:00.000-08:00

Since I've put my travel goals on hiatus, I've put together a list of goals (most of which are on the original 101 things list) to accomplish this year. Should I pay off the student loan debt early, I will pick back up the travel goals. Right now, I'm not hopeful that I will be able to do that because I'm quitting my job to go to grad school. I will continue to work, but I won't make nearly the amount I'm used to. My hubs will pay all our regular bills and I will put my entire paycheck to the loans.

So here's my list of 25 goals for 2010:
1. Pay down $20,000 of my student loan debt (I reached my goal, and now my new goal is to have the remainder of my SL paid off by the end of December.)
2. Take a drive on the Blue Ridge Parkway and have a picnic
3. Go to a flea market
4. Send poetry to lit mags
5. Read 50 books(Currently reading numbers 8 and 9)
6. Get a pedicure with my sister
7. Babysit my sister's twins
8. Shop at a Farmer's market for veggies
9. Try 6 more recipes from Pioneer Woman's website
10. Eat in for a whole month
11. Take a bike ride
12. Run 3 miles
13. Camp away from home
14. Visit Travis
15. Visit Maw Maw
16. Bake a pie
17. Take my nephews to the park
18. See a play at the Barter Theater
19. Read Gone With the Wind
20. Change a tire
21. Purchase Christmas for an angel tree child
22. Get all my books from the library (or from gifts) instead of buying books (because I spent a hefty amount on books last year!)
23. Walk 12 times a month (I had a goal of three times a week, but I wasn't keeping up with that. It's been really cold here, so I think 12 times a month makes more sense because I can pack all my walking into a warm week)
24. Husband's choice: Visit Amy in Kansas (road trip!)
25. Have a cook out

There they are. The 25 goals for this year. And here's hoping that we pay off my loans quicker than expected. Debt free is the way to be!